Most of us would be happy to have 1,000 Twitter followers. A million is pretty much unattainable, even for some big enchiladas.
Yet we see celebs erasing their Twitter pages as if it isn't the best thing since some 5'3" guy in Iowa took a knife to a loaf of bread. What's driving the Twitter exodus? Here's Rocks Off's Top 5 celebrity Twitter quitters, their motivation for ditching the popular social-networking site, and their final tweets (for now).
LILY ALLEN: The "Smile" British pop star not only dumped Twitter, she quit MySpace, blogging, and the Internet. Allen called it a day after getting lots of abuse for her firm stance on illegal file-sharing. At first, her friends thought it was part of an elaborate joke, but reality soon hit them like a dash of Icy Hot to the eye.
Allen reportedly gave away her MacBook and her BlackBerry. Now you had to call her land phone if you wanted to reach her. She also claimed that Twitter was destroying her relationship. Choosing your boyfriend over millions of strangers? She clearly needs to get her priorities straight.
Final Tweet: "I am a neo-luddite, goodbye."
COURTNEY LOVE: The Hole front woman talked so much shit on Twitter that she got sued for it. Earlier this year, some fashion designer with a little less cake sued Love for defamation, and the walking human controversy ended up paying a $430,000 settlement. She was also sued by one of her lawyers who claimed that tweets like "I was fucking devastated when Rhonda J Holmes Esq of San Diego was bought off" damaged her reputation.
Love ditched Twitter as the brouhaha unfolded, but returned briefly as @cloverxxxlove to talk shit about Arianna Huffington and "leathery idiot" Chelsea Handler, among others. Love has now deleted that account, but we guess it was for a good cause. Her Twitter bio read: "im courtney love and im PISSED. my facebook name is rose ofsharon, im on social networks until my friend is sober."
Final Tweet: "I'm off twitter, that photo was meant for a boy friend."
LUPE FIASCO: What's the easiest way to grow your Twitter followers from 8,000 to 700,000 in 24 hours? If you're a budding singer named Nikki Jean, you better hope @LupeFiasco fancies your music. Lupe turned over his page to Nikki Jean, who was prominently featured on his single "Hip-Hop Saved My Life."
She immediately changed the background and avatar to her album, Pennies In a Jar, and started promoting the project. We'll go out on a limb and predict that Emperor Lu will be back at some point. Nikki Jean, by the way? Badass.
Final Tweet: "I'm quitting twitter. it was fun while it lasted...thanks for the support on #lasers and i will see you all on the road soon...don't forget...Love Always Shines Everytime Remember 2 Smile...."
JOHN MAYER: Mayer amassed a stunningly impressive 3.7 million followers on Twitter, then quit cold turkey on them. Mayer recently explained to students at the Berklee College of Music that he quit Twitter to write meaningful songs. Twitter, he claims, was not only eating up his time, it was forcing him to condense his thoughts into one-line zingers:
You're coming up with 140-character zingers, and the song is still four minutes long ... I realized about a year ago that I couldn't have a complete thought anymore. I was a tweetaholic. I had four million Twitter followers, and I was always writing on it. And I stopped using Twitter as an outlet and I started using Twitter as the instrument to riff on, and it started to make my mind smaller and smaller and smaller. And I couldn't write a song.
Mayer's excuse that Twitter was stunting his creativity is a weak one. Besides, he kinda forgot to mention that the quitting came shortly after his "sexual napalm" period.
Final Tweet: "What does this button do?"
MILEY CYRUS: We once convinced a Dr Pepper addict to add a glass of water to her daily diet. She complied for three days and went back to drinking copious amounts of Dr Pepper. Still, we were extremely proud of ourselves. But that's nothing compared to Miley Cyrus' on-and-off beau Liam Hemsworth, who convinced his love interest to quit Twitter.
Miley, if you're reading this, please consider rejoining Twitter. America needs your tweets. How could we not, with profound tweets like "Good morning everyone. Life is good. I am laying in bed with my mommy right now scratching her bug bites."
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SHOW ME HOW
Final Tweet: "FYI Liam doesn't have a Twitter and he wants ME to delete mine with good reason."
Oh yeah, follow Rocks Off on Twitter. We promise we won't quit on you until we've reached 4 million followers. Then it's sayonara, baby.