Ever since Shaq flung the doors wide for athletes to satisfy their microphone dreams, many have tried to follow in his steps. The athlete-rapper experiment usually works, as long as the athlete leaves all the rapping to the rapper.
Unfortunately, that wasn't the case with these five songs. In honor of NBA All-Star Weekend, welcome to the wacky world of weird rapper-athlete collaborations.
5. U.T.F.O. & Darryl Strawberry, "Chocolate Strawberry"
"When I'm runnin, all the players make space/ I run, I slide, and then I'm safe," rhymed then-Mets slugger Strawberry in 1987. Strawberry caught flack with the Mets organization for his side gig. The bigger crime, however, was "Chocolate Strawberry," which sounds like the stomach rumblings of a dog.
4. Kid Sensation & Ken Griffey Jr, "The Way I Swing"
In his prime, All-Star center fielder Ken Griffey Jr. was one of baseball's most prolific home-run hitters. But his hitting prowess didn't exactly translate to the microphone when Junior teamed up with Seattle rapper Kid Sensation on 1992's "The Way I Swing." "Ken Griffey is a swinger, not a singer," he bragged, as if anyone would ever argue otherwise.
3. The Fat Boys & William "Refrigerator" Perry,
The Fat Boys (Kool Rock Ski, Prince Markie Dee and Buff Love "the Human Beat Box") were literally three fat dudes from Brooklyn. Chicago Bears defensive end William Perry was nicknamed "Refrigerator" for his towering figure - an intimidating 6'2', 380 pounds. So it only made sense that they would join forces on a rap song. "Over 300 pounds of human flesh/ And at my point of view, he's the best." The track's sole redeeming point is the brilliant beatboxing.
2. Ghostface Killah & Andre Rison, "Fast Life"
"Fast Life" is the perfect example of how one limp verse can bog down a good song. Mellow keyboards, smooth chorus, a gritty Ghost Deini verse...It was all good until former Falcons/Packers wideout Andre Rison grabbed the mike. This must be what it feels like right before you kiss your dream girl and your roommate storms in and yells "Wake up, numbnuts, you're late for work."
1. 50 Cent & Kobe Bryant, "Thug Poet"
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Why Kobe Bryant, a bona fide hoop star, felt the need to record a hip-hop album, we'll never know. Thankfully, he didn't release the entire disc. But he dropped enough songs to make us appreciate his decision to shelve the album. Not only did he rhyme off beat on this here "Thug Poet," he also managed to tarnish a classic Biggie track.
"Kobe? Yeah, he's real with the flow/ Kick in the do' wavin' the flow-flow." Yes, dude really referred to himself in the third person. This is the type of thing you play for a blind man to make him wish he were deaf.