Welcome back to Turning the Screw, Rocks Off's weekly rap post. It probably won't rhyme, at least most of the time. E-mail tips to firstname.lastname@example.org. Thanks, homies.
For the past year, every Monday we've tallied the week's most relevant happenings in rap (rappenings?) and packaged them nicely here for you. Here we'll take a step back and recount our five favorite 2009 storylines.
The Emergence of the Internet Rap Star
This was, without argument, the year's most important development within hip-hop's ever-evolving culture. But even if it weren't, of course we're going to give a nod to a movement that has incidentally increased our own machismo among rap fans tenfold. We mean, have you been to a Kid Cudi concert lately?
If you've got some hair on your balls, you could probably kick the crap out of at least 94 percent of the people in attendance. The remaining six percent would be the other, hairier-balled gentlemen who showed up solely to rob the kids you're planning on beating up. Even in a room full of sissies, we still can't earn an A+ for toughness.