Screwston, Texas

Turning The Screw: Spitten King, Paul Wall, The Kanye, KiD CuDi, Steve Lobel, Common, Weezy, Rick Ross, Pastor Troy, Mos Def, Grand Puba, The Chuck E. Cheese Conspiracy

Welcome back to Turning the Screw, Rocks Off's weekly rap post. It probably won't rhyme, at least most of the time. E-mail tips to [email protected]. Thanks, homies.

Single of the Week:

"The Gold Room," Spitten King

Wire To Wire:

A regular reader of Turning the Screw (who asked to remain anonymous) passed along a 2008 mixtape of Paul Wall's greatest hits. (Available here.) We made it through, like, four songs, and then, inexplicably, we started making I'm-[adjective]-like-[noun] proclamations and referencing our teeth uncontrollably. We are so looking forward to Fast Lane (due in May).

KiD CuDi was sooo serious about retiring but not really but he totally was.

Remember when The Kanye smashed that photographer's camera all to bits for having the audacity to photograph/film him in LAX? Yeah, The Kanye is probably really kicking himself for that right about now.

How's this for strange: a temporary wall panel fell on Steve Lobel's head (manager of Bone Thugs) at a birthday party at the Louis Vuitton store. We don't even know what to make of that, really.

Snoop Dogg feat. Tanvi Shah, "Snoop Dogg Millionaire"

Common will do just about anything for a check, we suppose.

Weezy's been ordered to turn over financial records for sales of Tha Carter III because of a copyright suit re: that "I Feel Like Dying" track he let everybody download for free back in 2007.

Rick Ross has a poor understanding of historical significance, says at a recent listening party for his upcoming LP, "I want everyone to know that this is not only a listening event, this is history."

Have you ever had the urge to shoot at Pastor Troy and then download his Best Of... mixtape? Well you're in luck, sir.

Mos Def has an album coming out this summer. In case you didn't know: Mos is one of the top five emcees of all time. Yes. Top five of all time. Deal with it.

Jeopardy Contestant: I'll take "What's Likely To Be Said After The Following Information Is Relayed To A Third Party" for $800, Alex.

Alex Trebek: We're 8Ball and MJG, an influential Southern rap duo that recently hosted a party; numerous people in attendance were injured and/or arrested.

Jeopardy Contestant: What is "No Shit," Alex?

Alex Trebek: Correct!

Grand Puba is releasing his next album via Babygrande. Not terribly interesting, but we never pass up the opportunity to type "Grand Puba." It's just a great name. Grand Puba. Grand Puba. Grand PubaGrandPubaGRANDPUBAGRANDPUBAGRANDPUBA!!!!

Gucci Mane, in what can be called the greatest incidentally ironic quote of the past week, said in a video of his recent prison time, "I got a lot of love."

Despite what the Detroit Free Press would have you believe, Jim Jones and Trick Trick were not involved in shootings at a Detroit club. How do we know? Duh, because they said as much, and everyone knows rappers are absolutely trustworthy. Ab-so-lute-ly.

(Also, a few weeks ago we made a joke about how there was a big Chuck E. Cheese banner advertisement on the HipHopDX site. It looks like C.E.C. has expanded their reach over to SOHH as well, another prominent hip-hop site. Ads on sites like that aren't cheap, so the brass at C.E.C. must really believe there is some type of correlation between people that read about hip-hop and visit overpriced pizza chains. It all just seems a very peculiar to us. Because you're not doing anything else, keep your eyes peeled for us and shoot us an email whenever you see a Chuck E. Cheese ad on a site. We may launch our first ever Turning the Screw investigative report.) (But probably not.) (But we will make a half-baked joke about it. That, we can guarantee.)

Houston Rap Video of the Week:

Because you either missed it or forgot about it.

"I'm From Houston," Moufs of da Souf feat. Hawk

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Shea Serrano