Screwston, Texas

What Is Houston Rap's Best Diss Song Ever?

Some rappers happen to be thoughtful, intelligent people. Every Monday that isn't a national holiday, Rocks Off will have some of them hear discussing issues relevant to their culture.

This Week's Panel: Bun B, Fat Tony, Renzo, Kyle Hubbard, Brad Gilmore

Not Invited: Lil Troy

This Week's Prompt: Last week, Jay-Z told Peter Rosenberg he thought that, looking back on it, that his "Takeover" diss record was better than Nas' "Ether," which people have generally come to accept as one of the best diss songs of all time.

So, question: What is the best diss record from a Houston rapper ever? Is it Pimp C's attack on Lil Troy? Cham's Mixtape Messiah massacre of Mike Jones? One of the bombs that K-Rino or Trae lobbed at The Box?

Bun B: Probably the Chamillionaire mixtape dedicated to dissing Mike Jones.

Fat Tony: The very best Houstonian "diss" came from "The Chronicles of Pimp C" from Ozone magazine, particularly the first article where he went the fuck off on Lil Troy's argyle wearing Pharrell-esque attire, Ne-Yo's glossy lips, Russell Simmons' dildo-in-the-booty fetish and more.

No other rapper-penned article will ever match that shit. I still die laughing while reading it. A really good actual diss record is UGK's "Murder." Bun B didn't seem too happy with someone on his verse.

Rap Round Table: Ah, yes. You're referring to the infamous "Marcus," right?

FT: Yes.

RRT: That's a common mistake. What Bun is actually saying is "mark ass," not "Marcus."

Renzo: The best diss song I have ever heard from a Houston rapper had to be the one that Slim Thug did to Lil Mario. It wasn't a speculation diss of any sort, and was filled with personal information that couldn't be denied by anybody that knew either of them.

He talked about how his sister went with him to the bank to make deposits. I hated what it did for the north side, but I would be lying if I wasn't enjoying listening to somebody get roasted like that. I'm sure they are both over it by now though. Other than that, I would say Willie D, Pimp C, Z-Ro, Slim Thug, and Scarface are the best dissers in Houston due to how direct they are when they get started. (Listen here.)

Kyle Hubbard: First off, "Takeover" is a better song. "Ether" cuts deeper, and "Black Republican" shits on both of those songs 100 times over. I used to think beef was cool, like it gave this whole new dramatic layer to everything going on but I quickly grew tired of it.

It could have been the Kanye and 50 face-off on the cover of Rolling Stone or maybe it was the fact that Eminem, one of the greatest talents our genre has ever seen, was in the midst of a heated snooze-fest with some asshole named Benzino. Whatever it was, I grew out of thinking beef was cool a long-ass time ago.

I say all that to say this:The dispute between Trae and The Box is important. It really boils down to a rapper against the establishment, and it matters. It isn't a beef, it is a serious issue. People have lost their jobs, artist have lost potential sales and exposure; people's lively hoods are on the line.

Trae has become more than a rapper in my eyes; he has exposed how crooked our local rap station really is. He has become a leader on an issue that affects everyone on this round table. Beyond the fact of how dirty they did Trae, they have no love for local talent.

I don't say that as a way of trying to say that I deserve to be on the radio, but what about Fat Tony and Hollywood FLOSS? Both of those men dropped albums that are sure to be considered local classics and both have tracks that could really fit in a radio format. Those two could benefit greatly from some radio exposure, so why the fuck has The Box done nothing to help elevate its own hometown's stars?

But to get back to the topic of best Houston diss song, I am going to have to go with K-Rino's a cappella track "Ninety-7" off his album Annihilation Of The Evil Machine. It's short, vicious, and directly to the point, and above all else, it's important.

Brad Gilmore: Well, I really do like K-Rino's diss "Ninety-7". But I feel that the feud between Mike Jones and Chamillionaire is one of Houston's finest. Koopa's series of disses were top notch, like "Roll Call" and "Who They Want." But my favorite diss was Mike Jones' "99 Problems" off his King of the Streets. That was the supreme diss.

Best line: "I'm getting deals offered to me for me by myself/ Your deal disappeared quick soon as Paul Wall left."

Although Cham's "Who They Want" over "Game Over" was raw. My favorite line from that diss was "I bought your CD, you were saying how you the best in the streets/ So I had to go get my quarter back like niggas who step in those cleats."

Or I also liked "You ain't a rhymer, you's a vagina/ It's time for some Vagisil." But if you had to go on who went harder, even though I'm a huge Chamillionaire fan, Mike Jones had the better disses, therefore best diss record from Houston.

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Shea Serrano