Oh, look at us with our fancy old-timey bicycles on the wall! You would think a bar that looks like a 19th-century funeral home would at least make the restrooms look all old-school as well. We wouldn't mind pissing in an outhouse out back, or using a page from a vintage Sears & Roebuck catalog to tidy up our business. It's hard to imagine that hoop skirts used to cost as much as a cheeseburger at TGI Fridays. Inflation sucks, bro. Anyhow, this picture is from one of the newest bars in town. We dig the place a lot and it is extremely pretty, but every time we walk in we feel like we are going to break something. Not out of some misplaced jerk-ass Limp Bizkit aggression (welcome back, Fred), but because the furnishings all look like they would disintegrate in our fat fingers if we touched them. We have now resorted to getting our drinks and standing in the middle of the bar staring at the floor while drinking them, admiring the fine woodgrain. At least we can't smash that into a thousand bits.
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