The Devil Wears Prada, "Outnumbered"

In addition to being a classic film starring some girl, The Devil Wears Prada is a metalcore band from Dayton, Ohio. In addition to being one of the youngest groups at the fest, they also happen to be a Christian band, a fact I neglected to mention to my folks in order to prevent any bias from creeping into the experiment.

Mom: "I'm sorry (laughs). You should see the dog right now. She doesn't know what's happening. These guys are dumb and I hate them. They had a cute introduction, though."

Dad: "The lead singer sounds dumb. The guitarist is okay."

Mom: "I think it's yelling instead of having any actual talents."

Dad: "Rrroggg! (laughs) See, I could do this!"

Mom: "I'm afraid this would not make America's Got Talent." (This was a pretty devastating Mom-burn.)

Dad: "Yeah. This last group is the worst."

THE FINAL VERDICT

RO: So, which band did you find to be the most annoying?

Mom: "The first one!" (This is good. If your mom likes Slayer, you probably grew up to kill people and eat their teeth.)

Dad: "The last one. 'The Devil Wears Prada.' The lead singer was terrible! Anybody can scream! It takes no talent to scream. The movie looked stupid, too. Why would you name yourselves that?"

RO: And which group did you hate the least?

Mom: "Motorhead. I liked their guitars. That's probably the kiss of death, as far as they're concerned! They kind of reminded me of the Rolling Stones -- not in terms of music, but in terms of energy channeled into actually expressing something."

Dad: "They had a good act."

The experts have spoken. Hardcore Christians and mock-Satanists are equally awful in the eyes of parents. Mostly because of the screaming, I gather. By comparison, Lemmy's voice apparently sounds fantastic. Do yourself a favor and keep your mother away from him tonight.

Rockstar Energy Drink Mayhem Festival begins tonight at 6 p.m. at the Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion.