Who Knew There Are So Many Songs About Rabies?

Monday night, as the crickets sang sweet songs into the early fall air, Rocks Off hung a wreath made of rubber bats on our door, and wrapped up copies of Old Yeller and Cujo to surprise our young daughter with when she awoke the next morning.

Ahhh, is there any holiday quite like World Rabies Day?

The holiday was launched in 2007 by the Alliance for Rabies Control to help spread awareness of the disease. Though it is 100% preventable through vaccination, a person dies of the disease every ten minutes. Almost half of those deaths are children. More than 70 countries participate in World Rabies Day with charity walks, festivals, parades and seminars.

Rocks Off helps to spread the word by not wearing shoes and belting out rabies carols while we're out walking our foaming Boston Terrier, Molly She's not rabid, just has too much spit in her mouth. Here are five of our favorites.

Attomica, "Rabies": Did you know there's an Encyclopedia Mettalum? Well there is, and if you need to look up an obscure Brazilian thrash-metal band from the '80s then you are freakin' set! The band is still out there, still kicking, and still belting out this high-energy ode to rabies.

Himrawn, "Rabies" (parody of Justin Bieber's "Baby"): You have no idea how great it was to type the word "rabies" in the same sentence as "Justin Bieber." Rocks Off's new life goal is to get "wood chipper" in there as well. This song is a sweet number designed to show all you rabid honeys out there that there are still some sweet, sensitive artists yearning to be gnawed upon by you.

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Agony Bag, "Rabies Is a Killer": OMG, Rocks Off has found our real father! Deep in the heart of the 1970s was a glamtastic clusterfuck called Agony Bag that simply defies all logic and sense. Formed from the demise of Black Widow by flautist Clive Jones, the group took theatricality and utter madness so far beyond what David Bowie and the like were doing that even Lady Gaga seems a little tame in comparison. Sadly, the group didn't make it past 1980.

They Might Be Giants, "Rabid Child": These days, TMBG is responsible for teaching your kids their colors, shapes and the capital of Turkey - it's Istanbul, not Constantinople. One of their more overlooked public services songs is "Rabid Child" from their 1986 self-titled debut. There's a real video that was filmed for the song that has never been released, but we cotton a great deal to this little fan one.

Fecal Sledge, "Rabid Inferno": We have to admit, this song has nothing to do with rabies other than its name. Instead, it's a surreal semi-metal song about puppies with a real cute video.

Know why we used it? Cause in our search to complete this list we had to wade through the lowest levels of Hell itself in the form of booming, distorted voices shouting out hideous descriptions of rabid cannibals while looking at album covers showing busty, dismembered sex kittens. So you get puppies. It's for your own good.

Happy World Rabies Day!

Jef With One F is the author of The Bible Spelled Backwards Does Not Change the Fact That You Cannot Kill David Arquette and Other Things I Learned In the Black Math Experiment, available now.

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