Craig's Hlist has been on a Motley Crue kick for the past few months. We may have just finished reading The Dirt for the fourth time, and we really enjoyed Nikki Sixx's Heroin Diaries book, which tells the story of how he spent 1987 mired in a haze of junk and almost every other drug imaginable.
The thing that troubles us is the song "Girls, Girls, Girls." It's not the fact that during the making of that 1987 album of the same name, the band combined got laid more than CHL probably will if we live to be 102. It's the fact that almost no songs anymore feature a motorcycle, either as an instrument or in a cameo.
During the opening, you hear one of the boys' motorcycles revving up. In that short moment, you don't care where Vince and the band are going, but will sell your grandmother into slavery to go with them. Motorcycle engines revving menacingly make any song better, the choppier and more rugged sounding the better.
CHL comes from a motorcycle-loving family, and we are making plans to get a new bike in the next year or so. We figure along with the tattoos, the music writing, and owning guns, that we will scare off every woman except the ghost of departed Plasmatics singer Wendy O. Williams by 2014.
So all this bike chatter made CHL seek out all the popular songs that feature motorcycles making cameos. We will critique the unique cycle sound in each song. Hint: Someone on this list has moles on his face and plays bass guitar.
Motley Crue, "Girls Girls Girls": You want to go where they are going, whether it be the Dollhouse, Tattletails, Seventh Veil, Crazy Horse, The Body Shop, or even the Marble Arch.
The Shangri-Las, "Leader Of The Pack": Yeah, motorbiking sounds cool until you get reminded that you could die.
Billy Joel, "Movin' Out": This bike sounds like it sucks, like Billy Joel does now. How can you be allergic to writing new music. Lame sauce, Billy. Lame.
Kaiser Chiefs, "Saturday Night": Gross. Is that a moped or remote-control car?
Lars Frederiksen & the Bastards, "Bastards": This is the spiritual brother of the Crue's own motorcycle cut. After a Rancid show at Warehouse Live in 2006, CHL and our brother watched Lars Frederiksen drive a sweet Harley Fat Boy up and down the street beside the venue.
Roxy Music, "Love Is the Drug": The bike sounds as fey as Bryan Ferry's wardrobe.
Moby Grape: "Motorcycle Irene": Sounds like the bike has rusty guts, like some old hippie who traded mechanic work for speed.
Love & Rockets, "Motorcycle": It's very faint, but it sounds weak all the same.
Chris Spedding: "Motorbikin'": Couldn't find the live cut of this song on Rdio, but here's a link. Dig the flash pots and the group of bikes in between the band.
Motorhead, "Motorhead": This bike beats the Crue bike, because it's Motorhead, you dumbass. Coming on the heels of Lemmy's ouster from Hawkwind, this is also one of the more pysch-ed out Motorhead songs, .
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Note: Rdio embeds may not work on Ipads. Sorry.