Welcome to Ask Willie D, Rocks Off's advice column where the Geto Boys MC answers reader questions about matters, in his own words, "funny, serious or unpredictable." Something on your mind? Ask Willie D!
WHY DO SO MANY FEMALES IDOLIZE MARILYN MONROE?
Dear Willie D:
Please help me understand this. There is documented evidence that Marilyn Monroe was a homewrecker and a loose woman, to put it mildly. So why do countless females look up to her, and are so fascinated by her persona?
Putting It Mildly:
I used to wonder the same thing; not anymore. Besides her beauty, women are drawn to her because there's a piece of Marilyn Monroe in every woman. It's the piece that each woman relates to that makes her endearing to them. Marilyn was strong and fragile; fearless and afraid; happy and sad; lucid and incoherent; praised and scorned; innocuous and scandalous; liberated and enslaved; glamorous and disheveled; privileged and poor; desired and rejected.
She was also much more intelligent than people gave her credit for. The collective energy of her flaws, redemptive attributes, beauty, talent, smartness and her willingness to share her vulnerabilities with all of us is why Marilyn Monroe is so adored. To say she lived in a town where people make a living out of being fake, she was as real as they come.
MY CONSISTENTLY INCONSISTENT HUSBAND
Dear Willie D:
I've been with my husband almost ten years -- married three. My issue is he is an alcoholic with severe trauma experienced during childhood. While I know he loves me, he is destroying our family. We have three great kids, and when he's not drunk or in jail he's a good dad. He doesn't have any dreams or goals.
He would be fine with all of us living in a park begging for change. I used to think I knew him -- not anymore. My question is; why do I keep going back? Our sex life is basically nonexistent because of his drinking. We don't have hobbies, and he's not even nice to me. Why am I not done?
He's not nice to you, but you're still with him? He's destroying your family, but you know he loves you? I'm confused. People stay in toxic relationships for a number of reasons: the kids, familiarity, loyalty, fear, money, they don't want to be lonely, and love -- whatever they know that to be.
If you're in a relationship with a man who mistreats you, have no hobbies, no ambitions, and can't get it up because he's always blasted; what's left to be attracted to? What attributes does he bring to the table in terms of parenting?
Look at it this way: if everything in your life outside of home was perfect, would you still want to be with him? I'm not going to tell you whether or not you should leave your husband. Your honest answer to the aforementioned question will tell you what to do.
More Ask Willie D on the next page.
WAS I WRONG FOR BEATING MY DAD FOR HITTING MY MOM?
Dear Willie D:
I stopped by my parents' house to find them embroiled in a fight. When I walked into their bedroom my mom was on the phone with my grandmother bleeding from the nose telling her what was going on. She said my dad had punched her in the nose. When I confronted my dad he cursed me and demanded that I return my key and leave his house.
Then he pushed me. All of a sudden all of the rage that I had penned up from him beating my mom and me for so many years just exploded, and I started beating him into submission. My mom had to climb on my back to get me off him. I told my mom to pack a few items to go to my house and we left him lying on the floor in a fetal position holding his stomach.
Since that day he refuses to speak to me and my mom finally divorced him. I don't feel bad for beating him, but I do feel partially responsible for my parents' breakup. The divorce should have happened years ago. So why do I feel guilty?
You feel guilty because you're a good son, and despite all the pain your dad put you through you still love him and wish that your parents could still be together, minus the abuse. It's not your fault that your parents broke up. Like you said, the divorce should have happened years ago.
The burden of a guilty conscience should belong to your father, not you. I hate to hear stories about children physically fighting with their parents. But, you did the right thing by standing up for your mom and removing her from that situation.
IS THIS A DATE?
Dear Willie D:
A few weeks ago I met a guy at the LA Fitness gym near my house. On my first day as a member I spotted him right away, taking notice of his ripped physique. I set my schedule to return to the gym the next day at the same time in hopes of a chance encounter.
I didn't meet my gym friend on that day, however, our introduction turned out to be even better than I could hope for three weeks later when my trainer called to cancel my appointment, and gave me the name of his substitute who turned out to be my gym friend.
Imagine my shock and joy when I arrived at the gym, asked for the guy and the guy I had been checking out walked up and said he would be filling in for my trainer; I didn't even know he worked at the gym. To make a long story short, we started speaking frequently and working out together. There's a new movie coming out in a few weeks that we both want to see, so he asked me if I wanted to go with him to check it out. Is this a date?
No it's not a date. It's the beginning of the rest of your life with the man of your dreams. Get that body ready for your wedding dress. It's going down! Okay, maybe I got a little carried away for you. But yeah -- it's definitely a date.
On a personal note, if he buys you the large bucket of popcorn that comes with the free refills, and isn't afraid of getting caught movie-hopping, he's a keeper!
PREVIOUSLY ON ASK WILLIE D
Ask Willie D anything at askwillied.com, and come back next Thursday for more of his best answers.
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