Some rappers happen to be thoughtful, intelligent people. Every Monday that isn't a national holiday, Rocks Off will have some of them here discussing issues relevant to their culture.
This Week's Panel: Fat Tony, Kyle Hubbard, Real Elliot Ness
Not Invited: Chelsea Handler's mom
This Week's Prompt: Rumors have been flying all around that Chelsea Handler and 50 Cent are dating, which is not very interesting. What we're curious to know is this: Is she supposed to not be awful? Or, rather, is she supposed to be funny? Because she's mostly not. How on earth did she grab the "Your Favorite Rapper's Favorite TV Personality" tag? We suppose it's better than Tyra Banks* nabbing it, but only marginally. So who stamped her card? How did she get in the fold?
Fat Tony: It's that foreign white-girl charm. I'd be trying to hit it too if I was a popular rapper-man. Wouldn't you? Plus she's on MTV and people seem to like her, so popular rapper-man gon' get a little publicity off GP. And 50 Cent is working on a new album; a little pre-release buzz to get his name out while he plans the album release.
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Kyle Hubbard: Chelsea Handler blows. Her entire career amounts to "Oh my God, this one time I was so drunk..." stories. All her punch lines can be predicated halfway through the set up. We get it, Chelsea, you like the booze and this often leads you into wacky situations. I never heard about the 50 thing, and quite frankly that doesn't affect my feelings about her all.
She is a comedian, she gets paid to tell jokes, she isn't funny, I don't like that. But the part that really drives me insane is that 9 out of 10 of my female friends swear up and down she is the most hilarious thing to ever happen to anybody, ever. I hate Chelsea Handler. She isn't funny, she is infuriating.
Real Elliot Ness: I never thought she had a "pass" either. I was offended by her comments on the awards, "big black elephant" and all that chatter. But this is merely a ploy, I think. The hip hop world is desperate. She's a promotional ticket. Basically, 50 is pulling a J-Lo; beat her down for some pub, reinvent yourself, all that. I don't condone, but I recognize.
*Somehow, we whiffed on the opportunity to take a shot at Wendy Williams, perhaps the worst, most annoying, most awful TV personality of all time. Re-reading the transcript, we were very disappointed about by that. We sincerely apologize.