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Woozyhelmet Takes Two Years to Answer an Email About Their Name

It a well-known fact that most band names are gobbledygook, but here at Rocks Off we're trying hard to find meaning in the oddest monikers.

Two years ago, when I started punching band names in the vowels until they coughed up their lunch origins, I was immediately smitten with a band called Woozyhelmet from right here in Houston. See, it's a throwaway line from the 1992 movie Toys starring Robin Williams, which in addition to being one of my favorite movies of all time is also the most underrated Christmas movie ever.

In it, Williams' runs a toy factory that is being taken over by his uncle in hopes of turning into a miniature war-machine producer. In the name of innocence and whimsy, Williams fights back in a battle between good and evil that is heartwarming and truly extraordinary. Along the way, he invents a rollercoaster simulator that his robotic sister calls a Woozy Helmet.

I was so excited to find another fan of the film that I immediately fired off an email for this column to Jay Blazek Crossley. Then silence. Nothing. I have ignored everything the band has done since then out of a misplaced nerd-rage. It's petty, I know, but Toys fans are so hard to find I felt like I'd been left at the altar or something.

Then yesterday...

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Wow. We missed the most awesome press email ever. I am so sorry we are morons. Nobody ever checks our [email protected] email address, which is dumb. However, since this was the best press email ever, I'm gonna go ahead and answer your questions two years late...

And, as luck would have it they're playing this weekend. So with all my hate extinguished, here's what I learned from Woozyhelmet.

Rocks Off: Why did you pick the name Woozyhelmet?

Jay Blazek Crossley: I am pretty sure that on the College Houses Co-Op bus to NASCO -- the national conference in Ann Arbor, Michigan -- a 40-hour trip in which I will neither confirm nor deny that there were lots of special brownies, there was the ability for movies and there was a long campaign to watch The Muppet Movie which involved ransom notes passed back and forth between the 21st Street Co-Op people (us -- in favor of the Muppet Movie, of course) and the Taos Co-Op people.

But I think after that we got away easily with watching Toys without much controversy and Toto [Miranda, drummer] and Brandi [DiPietro, bass] and I talked about it and basically everyone agreed right away that our new band would be called Woozyhelmet. [Ed. Note: Co-Ops are organizations, popular around college campuses, that offer reasonably priced housing in exchange for a certain amount of labor per week. The editor is a 21st Street alum.]

To be explicit: There is the scene where Robin Williams is showing Joan Cusack a new toy they developed that is a virtual-reality pair of goggles and they try out the toy on a couch doing a simulation of a roller coaster i think. So of course they wobble around and go back and forth and up and down and make wooooooh sounds. When they remove the head gear, Joan Cusack says "I think we should call it the Woozyhelmet!"

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Jef Rouner (not cis, he/him) is a contributing writer who covers politics, pop culture, social justice, video games, and online behavior. He is often a professional annoyance to the ignorant and hurtful.
Contact: Jef Rouner