Breaking News

Z-Ro Is, In Fact, Not Dead

It's been a busy month for fake deaths among the Houston rap community. A couple of weeks ago, rumors abounded that Houston's finest lyricist, Scarface, had passed. Turned out that the super clever title of a Source magazine article ("Scarface Is Dead") was to blame, and Mr. Face, thankfully, was/is in fine health. (Although we're still grieving his retirement.)

Then, two nights ago, text-message services and hip-hop forums were flooded with rumors that the Mo City Don, Z to the mutha-effin' Ro, had been shot in the head at a nightclub. As soon as we got the message we tossed our infant into the nearest receptacle  - which, by the way, is a lot safer than it sounds, as infants lack the necessary motor skills to get out - and began searching out the truth.

Naturally, we were skeptical at first - how do you kill someone who, by his own admission, is already dead, right? - but we flushed it out just to be sure. Calls to PR people, various plugged-in individuals of questionable character and integrity, and Rap-A-Lot headquarters confirmed what we prayed was the truth: Z-Ro is alive and well. Or at least as well as the most miserable man on earth can possibly be.

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Shea Serrano