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Z-Ro Is, In Fact, Not Dead

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It's been a busy month for fake deaths among the Houston rap community. A couple of weeks ago, rumors abounded that Houston's finest lyricist, Scarface, had passed. Turned out that the super clever title of a Source magazine article ("Scarface Is Dead") was to blame, and Mr. Face, thankfully, was/is in fine health. (Although we're still grieving his retirement.)

Then, two nights ago, text-message services and hip-hop forums were flooded with rumors that the Mo City Don, Z to the mutha-effin' Ro, had been shot in the head at a nightclub. As soon as we got the message we tossed our infant into the nearest receptacle  - which, by the way, is a lot safer than it sounds, as infants lack the necessary motor skills to get out - and began searching out the truth.

Naturally, we were skeptical at first - how do you kill someone who, by his own admission, is already dead, right? - but we flushed it out just to be sure. Calls to PR people, various plugged-in individuals of questionable character and integrity, and Rap-A-Lot headquarters confirmed what we prayed was the truth: Z-Ro is alive and well. Or at least as well as the most miserable man on earth can possibly be.

Keep the Houston Press Free... Since we started the Houston Press, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Houston, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Houston with no paywalls.

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Join the Press community and help support independent local journalism in Houston.