10 Confederate Flag Bikinis and the Subtle Political Statements They Make

Despite Sam Houston's fervent wishes, Texas joined the Confederacy during the Civil War.

Perhaps old Sam would have endorsed the move if he knew it would eventually lead to the phenomenon of Confederate-flag bikinis. These bikinis, to be sure, do not promote slavery or racism. Instead they make a much more subtle and uplifting argument, depending on the style and the wearer.

10. What it says: "[N]ot everyone that flies the Confederate flag is a racist, but, regrettably, some are, that's a fact of life and it will never change, but for MANY of us that flag does not, IN ANY WAY, represent racism or hatred, it represents our heritage and family histories, nothing more," as this blogger argues. Also, the Stars & Bars were definitely designed for "Look Here" signs on bikinis.

9. What it says: The wearer has obviously studied and agrees with the viewpoints of historian Shelby Foote, who said, "The flag is a symbol my great grandfather fought under and in defense of. I am for flying it anywhere anybody wants to fly it. I do know perfectly well what pain it causes my black friends, but I think that pain is not necessary if they would read the confederate constitution and knew what the confederacy really stood for." Also, the confederate constiution mandates cigs, beer and jorts.

8. What it says: Speaking strictly from an aesthetic point of view, this woman endorses the view of artist Bill Dunlap, who said, "It's a very, very powerful symbol, and if you can separate it from the baggage of history and the histrionics that surround it and look at it, it's almost from a graphic design point of view perfect. I mean, in all the history of heraldry there's nothing that looks quite like that. The only improvement I would make is to make that center star a little bit larger than your eye would lock in on it and you couldn't go away from it."

Except she would add that it needs a tramp stamp, some glitter and a saucy slogan to really make it a design masterpiece.

7. What it says: This woman may very well be J.F. Quayhagen, who wrote a letter to the Shreveport Times about Harvard professor Charles Ogletree Jr. criticizing a rebel flag over the Caddo Parish courthouse.

Now I can surmise that Mr. Ogletree has nothing better to do at Harvard. Perhaps he is in charge of the Revisionist History Department. If so, he would want to completely change the history of the Civil War [sic] and wipe out 1860-64 completely.

We wonder if Mr. Ogletree has any opinions on hideous swimsuits?

6. What it says: As Ashland University professor Mackubin T. Owens put it, " In our household, the battle flag symbolized the valor shown by Southerners, most of whom did not own slaves, on countless battlefields." And who, if they were alive today, would wear bandannas and ride hogs.

5. What it says: Count her in as supporting the analysis by Dodge County Commission chairman Dan McCranie of Georgia, who said, "The battle flag is just another flag that flies. It's a part of history. You know, some people view it as part of slavery. Down here in Dodge County...whether that was an issue or not, that was 150 years ago." She would add, however, "Ho Fo' Sho."

4. What it says: What Jim Hanks of the South Carolina League of the South said about 2008 presidential candidate Fred Thompson criticizing the rebel flag: "He's masquerading as a good ole boy." Does Thompson not realize the Confederate flag brings together all colors, from tanned to pasty white?

3. What it says: As Don Gordon of the Sons of the Confederacy put it about the Thompson controversy, "[W]e don't think people should come to the South and try to get our votes and then wipe their feet on the Confederate flag to kiss up to voters in other parts of the country." Absolutely, because the Confederate flag should be treated with great respect and displayed only in a flattering manner, as with this woman.

2. What it says: "FREEBIRD!!!!!!!!!!"

1. What it says: This obviously is a follower of the thinking of the Texas Confederate Veterans, who say, "Unlike what some people would have you believe about the Confederacy, the Confederate Flag and the role Texans played in the Civil War, our purpose is not to glorify slavery and racism, but to document and explain the impact that the Confederacy had on our area of Texas and to honor our Texas Confederate ancestors and to present the Confederate Flag as a symbol of honor and not hate." And that documentation of the impact the Confederacy had is best expressed via pictures you probably hoped never ended up on the Web.

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