Our list of 25 Best Reasons to Love Texas in the Autumn was, we were told, a little skimpy on the babes.
Not that there's anything inherently sexy about fall (although some dudes go nuts over the boots-with-dresses look), it's just that some folks think any listicle must include skimpily clad females.
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Which makes it tough to put together a NASA list, but we digress.
It is possible, we have discovered through assiduous research, to explore the world of autumn bikinis. And we don't mean by cheating via using swimwear shots from Australia or St. Baart's. We mean actual fall bikini shots.
10. This does mean fall, dammit Yeah, we know, we know -- but it says right on the bikini Web site this is an "autumn pattern bikini"!! And they're experts!!
We choose not to reason why there is Web video of a bikini-clad woman using a leaf-blower; we simply instead just use it.
8. Hey, she's named Autumn!! Autumn Reeser, to be exact. Apparently from The O.C. And it's
nippy cold enough for a fire, so it must be fall.
7. Faded love Fall is not all about the bursting explosion of color that's pictured on every Vermont postcard that doesn't include maple syrup. The season can also be a melancholy one of fading feelings, of a return to normal emotional sea level after a candle-on-both-ends summer tryst, and this suit exemplifies that more c'est la vie aspect.
6. Art in miniature A definite fall pattern, if possibly not the maximum amount of space on which to display that pattern.
5. Rules shall be broken, or bent Okay, these are not technically bikinis. But it's two dirndl-donning babes kissing, so we know it's October at least.
4. Autumn has many different types of leaves And we're insisting that floppy orange thing she's holding is one of them.
3. We'll leave the lei jokes to you But this has something to do with autumn in Hawaii, which we assume is even less autumn-y than autumn in Texas, and they have to endure it without a state fair. OTOH, they endure it in a state without Dallas, so there's that.
2. Fall means fall means fall For some reason -- probably desperation -- bikini sellers have equated "autumn" with the Garden of Eden. Maybe as in The Fall? We didn't think they were so up on their Bible terms, but good for them.
At any rate, here's one of the Eden-esque takes.
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To be sure, the young lass has a long way to go: