10 Things We Hate (But Have Come to Accept) About Houston

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10. The Old Rockets Uniforms are Never Coming Back

Okay, perhaps this is a bit of a niche item, but among Rockets fans, it is often a serious debate. When the Rockets won back-to-back titles in the early '90s, something that NEVER happens in Houston (more on that later), they did it in the old-school familiar "ketchup and mustard" uniforms. That red-and-gold look was pervasive when they were winning. Not long after, the then relatively-new owner Leslie Alexander changed them to a bizarre, cartoonish pinstripe get up with a logo that looked like an angry dildo. Sensing the error, the Rockets changed them again in the early 2000s, this time with the spikey Asian font and red/white color scheme they have today. Even young Rockets fans occasionally raise a stink about bringing back the old uniform style despite the "throwback" nights during the season featuring the beloved red and gold. Get over it, Rockets fans. Those days are gone along with those duds.

9. It Doesn't Snow

In 2008 and 2009, we had back-to-back snow days during Houston's winter for the first time in recorded history. This past winter, we had a number of days below freezing and a slight dusting of the white stuff. But a winter wonderland, this most certainly is not. Even if we do get a bit of snow, it hits the ground and melts almost instantaneously. Up north what we call flurries, they call good weather. We should be glad. We never have to shovel that crap and we can go visit people who do have that lovely chore as often as we like. It's kind of like being a grandparent. You get all the benefits of fun with your grand kids without having to take them home.

8. We Aren't Winning Any Beauty Contests

For as lovely as parts of the city can be, we suffer both from an intrinsic lack of geography and an unfortunate lack of taste (much of the time). The city is flat, our waterways aren't exactly scenic and the vast expanses of strip malls, particularly in the suburbs can be depressing. We don't look out our windows in the morning and see glimmering coastlines or towering mountains. Face it, the city is ugly. And that's totally fine. We get to enjoy the hidden beauty of the city and the fact that its citizens are really attractive even when their surroundings are not. It makes for a nice contrast. Plus, being an unattractive city keeps out the whiners.

7. In Summer, the Pollution Can Be Awful

If you decide to move here, get to know the word "ozone." Thanks to the city's massive physical size, traffic, nearby chemical refineries and the weather patterns in summer, we are often subjected to days of below-average air quality. Los Angeles sits in a valley, creating the smog they face during the summer months. We have still, heavy air. The good news is that it doesn't last long and the fall months here are insanely beautiful and mostly pollution free. That's why God invented the summer vacation.

6. We Lack Decent Public Transportation...Because We Love Our Cars

Remember that pollution I mentioned? Most of it is thanks to our desperate love of cars. Sure, if you live in a city as big as Houston, you better have some transportation, but it becomes especially true when you realize we have a severely lacking public transportation system. METRO does what it can, but the scope of covering 600 square miles of city is daunting. And we aren't helped by many a loudmouthed politician who seems to think increased public transport is akin to making our city government socialist and declaring French as the official language. Of course, they don't have to deal with our traffic either. It does make us fiercely independent and give most of us the flexibility to come and go as we please, however. It also means a lot more Uber drivers, so there's that.

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Jeff Balke is a writer, editor, photographer, tech expert and native Houstonian. He has written for a wide range of publications and co-authored the official 50th anniversary book for the Houston Rockets.
Contact: Jeff Balke