The traditional vision of Christmas tends to be based on snowy winter wonderlands, forests of evergreens and happy children waiting for Santa. In Houston, we do have a lot of green trees and kids waiting on St. Nick. Snow? Well...
Fact is, there are a lot of differences between a traditional Christmas and what we celebrate here in Houston. We like to believe they are for the better...most of the time.
How to Keep Warm Traditional: Snuggled in front of the fire place Houston: Snuggled in front of the Yule Log TV station with the air conditioning set to 68
While most of the country is mired in winter, we are enjoying some of the most lovely weather of the year, until it hits 78 degrees and the air conditioner kicks back on.
Shoes Traditional: Snow boots Houston: Flip flops
We may occasionally have to don shoes during the winter, but anyone who owns snow boots in these here parts must travel a lot.
Transportation to Grandma's House Traditional: Sleigh Houston: Pickup
A sleigh is fun and all, but those rails aren't going to protect you from potholes like a four-wheel drive.
Danger Getting to Grandma's House Traditional: Snow drift Houston: Highway construction
That and drunk drivers, and speaking of...
Beverage Traditional: Egg Nog/Mulled Wine Houston: Frozen Margarita/Lone Star
Yes, we said frozen.
Family Activity Traditional: Caroling Houston: Making tamales
Thanks to the immigrants from Mexico, many families enjoy the tradition of tamale making at the holidays. It beats listening to your uncle try to croon "It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas" after a six pack of Lone Star.
Dinner Entree Traditional: Duck/Turkey/Ham Houston: Barbecue
We'll put our brisket up against your "biggest goose in all of London" any day of the week and twice on Sundays.
What children dream about Christmas Eve Traditional: Visions of sugar plums Houston: J.J. Watt sacks
Interestingly, a dream shared by every NFL quarterback, except they call them nightmares.
How Santa Gets Into the House Traditional: Down the chimney Houston: Through the bedroom window
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The few chimneys that do exist in this city are more about wishful thinking than practicality and the years of disuse makes them a hazard for the big fella. Remind us to send him our alarm code.
Christmas Miracle Traditional: Dad home from war Houston:290 isn't closed for construction
We promise we've been good all year.