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Keep Houston Press Free
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12 Odd Bikini Pictures: A Haiku Tribute

The temperatures have finally started getting hot and muggy -- not that we were looking forward to that or anything -- so swimsuit season is almost here.

We went looking for bikini pictures, and on Flickr's Creative Commons page found many from something called The Bikini Open. A dozen of them cried out for glorification via haiku, so we had little choice but to go all 5-7-5 on them.

The Shopper's Dilemma Gruene General Store Why put "open" sign so high? I try to read; can't

Lesson Unlearned Missed "bend over" class Now I'm completely confused I feel so alone

What Isn't Seen I lean on nothing Airbrushed out is man giving To me doggie-style

Glories of Nature Thigh-muscled woman Why wear cheesy boots today? Oh, right: cow patties

Paint It Black Goth girl will try out Your "bikini pose" bullshit But she prays for clouds

Syrup Siren Thou cup the flowers Nicely, but Aunt Jemima wants her do-rag back

Fear Not Danger? Not for a Real Housewife of New Jersey Like you, with pre-nup

An Explanation A hose while in pool? Seems wasteful. Then again, it Looks like money shot

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Modern Science Lonely girl has ball Hard, plastic. Actually She has three of them

Learning the Rules If chair girl would just Play nice with photographer She'll face front next time

A World Askew Planet tilts to right Think! Think! What to do? Oh yes: Must hold on with hand

Scientific Inquiry Kandi, are you sure This is best way to check out Eclipse of the sun?

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