The temperatures have finally started getting hot and muggy — not that we were looking forward to that or anything — so swimsuit season is almost here.
We went looking for bikini pictures, and on Flickr’s Creative Commons page found many from something called The Bikini Open. A dozen of them cried out for glorification via haiku, so we had little choice but to go all 5-7-5 on them.
The Shopper’s Dilemma Gruene General Store
Why put “open” sign so high?
I try to read; can’t
Lesson Unlearned Missed “bend over” class
Now I’m completely confused
I feel so alone
What Isn’t Seen I lean on nothing
Airbrushed out is man giving
To me doggie-style
Glories of Nature Thigh-muscled woman
Why wear cheesy boots today?
Oh, right: cow patties
Paint It Black Goth girl will try out
Your “bikini pose” bullshit
But she prays for clouds
Syrup Siren Thou cup the flowers
Nicely, but Aunt Jemima
wants her do-rag back
Fear Not Danger? Not for a
Real Housewife of New Jersey
Like you, with pre-nup
An Explanation A hose while in pool?
Seems wasteful. Then again, it
Looks like money shot
Modern Science Lonely girl has ball
Hard, plastic. Actually
She has three of them
Learning the Rules If chair girl would just
Play nice with photographer
She’ll face front next time
A World Askew Planet tilts to right
Think! Think! What to do? Oh yes:
Must hold on with hand
Scientific Inquiry Kandi, are you sure
This is best way to check out
Eclipse of the sun?
This article appears in May 5-11, 2011.