As we come up on the end of the decade, I thought I would look back at some of the city’s professional sports franchises and throw out some of their highlight moments. I figured I would start with the Houston Texans.
1. February 18, 2002: The team’s very first draft choice was in the expansion draft, and setting a precedent that they would follow with most subsequent first round draft choices, they blew the pick. The very first pick of the Texans was Jacksonville Jaguars lineman Tony Boselli who was made available to the Texans because of shoulder injuries. He never played a game for the Texans.
2. April 20, 2002: And the Texans, continuing the precedent they set with Boselli, made David Carr the team’s very first amateur draft pick. The pretty boy QB from Fresno State never stood a chance, primarily because he never had an offensive line or, except for Andre Johnson, any true targets to hand or pass the ball to.
3. But hey, it’s not all bad memories. On September 8, 2002, the Texans played their very first regular-season game. And they defeated the hated Dallas Cowboys before a national TV audience. Unfortunately, for the most part, this is the signature moment of the franchise.
4. And let’s not forget that, in 2004, Carr was named as one of People magazine’s sexiest men alive.
5. David Carr, Jason Babin, Travis Johnson, Amobi Okoye, Duane Brown. All
number one draft choices of the Houston Texans. All failures.
6. Andre Johnson and Brian Cushing. They’re also number one picks of the
Texans, but that’s probably because a mistake was made and somebody not
associated with the team made those picks.
7. And somehow the
team screwed up and got Steve Slaton, DeMeco Ryans, and Owen Daniels in
the lower rounds. Just like the players, management performs best when
there’s no pressure on them.
8. On April 28, 2006, the Texans
ended the civil war that had erupted amongst fans arguing over whether
the team should draft Vince Young or Reggie Bush. The announcement
that the pick would be Mario Williams united the fans in disgust at
Texans management.
9. December 24, 2006: The Houston Texans
got an early Christmas present when they defeated the Indianapolis
Colts 27-24. That’s the only time the Texans have ever defeated the
Colts, however. Career record versus the Colts is 1-15.
10. December 10, 2006: Vince Young scampers through the Texans defense to
score the game-winning TD in overtime for the Tennessee Titans. And
surprisingly, the fans were mostly happy.
11. The Texans invented some new colors: Battle Red, Liberty White, and Deep Steel Blue.
12. The “Liberty” in Liberty White is on account of the McNair’s late dog, Liberty. Liberty was brown.
13.
To distract the fans from the awful play, the team has six uniform
combinations, all of them bad.
14.
December 8, 2002: The Texans defeated the Pittsburgh Steelers 24-6. However, the Texans only had 47 yards of total offense, and the offense
scored only three points.
15. October 21, 2007: The Texans
lose to the hated Titans 38-36 when Rob Bironas kicks his NFL-record
eighth field goal with seconds remaining. What makes it more memorable
is that Sage Rosenfels came off of the bench to lead the Texans to 29
fourth-quarter points.
16. October 5, 2008: Speaking of
Rosenfels, this is the date of the infamous Rosencopter. The Texans led
the Colts by 17 late in the fourth quarter. Three Rosenfels turnovers
later, the Colts had the 31-27 win.
17. March 22, 2007: The
Texans acquire a new savior by the name of Matt Schaub. He is,
however, yet to lead anybody close to the promised land of the playoffs.
18. March 23, 2007: The former savior, David Carr, is dumped. The offensive line, however, still sucks.
19. September 25, 2001: One of the biggest days in team history as the
name and colors are released after years of marketing studies.
20. January 2, 2005: Dom Capers, the team’s original coach, is fired.
21. In February of 2008, Texans cheerleaders (and twins) Larisa and Marisa
are featured in the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue.
22. Gary Kubiak is hired and promises Bob McNair he can win with David Carr. He can’t.
23. Playoffs? Playoffs? At least the Texans have spared Houstonians the
playoff humiliations of the Houston Oilers. Of course, the Texans have
yet to actually make the playoffs.
24. For what it matters, the Texans have yet to actually have a winning season.
25. What’s a winning season? The team’s best ever record is 8-8, which they’ve done twice.
This article appears in Dec 24-30, 2009.
