9 Outer-Space Bikinis and Why They Are Impractical

This summer we've looked at American-flag bikinis, Confederate-flag bikinis, Texas-flag bikinis and bikinis featuring flags from around the world.

We frankly thought we had exhausted the subject. But then our editor suggested "outer-space bikinis," so here we go:

9 Outer-Space Bikinis and Why They Are Impractical

10. Buck Rogers in the 25th Century Style points: Off the charts, if you have an aluminum-foil fetish. Otherwise, we hope you're a fan of high collars. Impracticalities: You could pretty much sneak up on this woman undetected with the Giant Wall of Foil blocking her view. Plus, as the video shows, she's wearing a long wrap around her legs, and that's just wrong:

9 Outer-Space Bikinis and Why They Are Impractical

9. Some obscure '70s space movie with no wiki info available
Style points: Ask generations of Princess Leia geeks with years of lotioned-up palms.
Impracticalities: Ineffective against Hutt drool. Plus, it's a look that doesn't necessarily transfer well:

9 Outer-Space Bikinis and Why They Are Impractical
9 Outer-Space Bikinis and Why They Are Impractical

7. Star Crash
Style points: Firm, reinforced and braced breast squashers, if you're somehow into that. Straps direct the eye towards the belly button, if you're somehow into that.
Impracticalities: Looks like it would be a very involved process getting this thing on. Or off. Very strappy, overall. And in case you've never heard of Star Crash, it has a whole fan page dedicated to it and also includes thrilling scenes like this:

9 Outer-Space Bikinis and Why They Are Impractical
9 Outer-Space Bikinis and Why They Are Impractical

6. A top-secret NASA research project
Style points: Bold black-and-white color scheme, though for all we know it could be something else. You can also play tic-tac-toe on this woman's ass.
Impracticalities: We're no scientists, but we have our doubts about whether that helmet is really going to keep any oxygen from leaking out.

9 Outer-Space Bikinis and Why They Are Impractical

5. The Fifth Element
Style points: Strong, if the almost-naked-mummy look ever hits.
Impracticalities: Not recommended for those women with fuller breasts.

outermarsneeds.JPG
4. Mars Needs Women
Style points: Stunning, from the iconic office ceiling and HVAC covering to the ancient facemask on the -- oh, we thought you meant the decor. Otherwise it seems a very nice outfit.
Impracticalities: Produces odd tan lines. And yes, this isn't an outer-space bikini -- yet. This poor young girl, working her way towards a master's at Beehive U, is about to be abducted by the residents of the titular planet.

9 Outer-Space Bikinis and Why They Are Impractical

3. Attack of the Zombie Bikini Babes From Outer Space
Style points: Black? Isn't that what all the zombies are wearing these days?
Impracticalities: Actually, the suits seem quite useful, if your intention is to distract potential victims from noticing you are eating their brains.

9 Outer-Space Bikinis and Why They Are Impractical

2. Futurama
Style points: Amy Wong always displays the utmost in understated taste and class when it comes to choosing outfits.
Impracticalities: Apparently reduces IQ.

9 Outer-Space Bikinis and Why They Are Impractical

1. Barbarella
Style points: The many outfits of Barbarella...well, let's just say they were of their time.
Impracticalities: Well, the movie sucks.

Honorable Mention: Technically this doesn't involve space, but it does involve a space-like bikini. Raquel Welch in Myra Breckinridge:


Follow Hair Balls News on Facebook and on Twitter @HairBallsNews.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.

Newsletters

All-access pass to the top stories, events and offers around town.

  • Top Stories
    Send:

Newsletters

All-access pass to top stories, events and offers around town.

Sign Up >

No Thanks!

Remind Me Later >