We like how the latest surveillance video released by Crime Stoppers begins: A dude standing outside a business, trying as hard as is humanly possible to look casual.
You can almost hear him whistling, saying just loud enough for others to hear, "Nothin' to see here, folks, move along..." and then just let me sidle up slowly to this window and pull out a rock and.....GO TIME!!!
He gets into a fast-food restaurant pathetically easily, but things don't go too well from there.
He heads for the office, the better to be pictured on surveillance video that hasn't been disabled.
After that there's a lot of searching of drawers, but apparently some success is obtained.
Crime Stoppers says the man, described only as "a Hispanic male," stole an undetermined amount of cash.
After which, in quite the understatement, he "then fled in an unknown direction."
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SHOW ME HOW
He hit a Popeye's at 6935 Harrisburg July 29 and a Hartz at 6501 Harrisburg the next night. (Guy likes his Harrisburg fried chicken.)
Anyone with information in either of these cases is urged to contact the HPD Investigative First Responder Division at 713-4624 or Crime Stoppers at 713-222-TIPS.