I don't know about you guys, but when I looked at the crop of Republican presidential candidates about a year ago, as the media and primary wars waged on, I could only think about what they would look like jogging or working out. It's a hidden hot-button issue. Depraved, mindless people like me vote based on things like this.
Americans were spoiled for 16 years with images of Presidents Clinton and Bush jogging their pasty legs down park tracks, with harried Secret Service agents running abreast.
Seeing those majestic presidential legs pumping every few days in the press soothed the country's nerves. I know it soothed mine.
For the past three years or so, President Barack Obama can usually be seen playing "hoops" with his best "peeps." Vice President Biden looks like a walker.
If presidential hopeful Mitt Romney and his sidekick Paul Ryan win next week, we already know that Ryan is a gym rat, from the great workout stills that were made public weeks back, to the delight of meme-ographers everywhere.
Let's look at some past presidents hard at work turning that fat into muscle, sweating off the stress of running the free world, and at least attempting to not be jowl-y doughmen with chicken-strip-greased fingers on the nuclear button.
Mmmmm, chicken fingers....