See that woman on the left? Seems to be middle-aged?
Now look at the woman on the right, obviously a fairly decrepit great-grandmother.
PREPARE TO HAVE YOUR MIND BLOWN: It is the same person.
The FBI has dubbed her the "Bad Granny" bank-robber because -- we can only assume -- she's "bad" because she robs banks. Certainly the FBI wouldn't be making any kind of snide comment on the quality of her disguise.
Oh wait, maybe they are:
FBI special agent Patricia Villafranco says the photos show:
an older female we are calling "Bad Granny" believed to have hit three West Houston banks in recent weeks. On Friday afternoon, wearing an ill fitting wig and carrying a little blue purse, she attempted to rob a Bank of America, but didn't get any cash. So she entered a nearby Wells Fargo bank and tried her luck again. Coincidentally, this is the same bank that investigators believe she robbed on January 19. In the January robbery, she was not wearing the wig.
"Ill-fitting"? Maybe if you're thinking of it in the License to Ill way. Because this woman is an absolute genius at disguise.
Genius Move No. 1: She keeps robbing the same banks.
Genius Move No. 2: Knowing that bank employees might recognize her, she goes out with her ill-gotten gains and spends $1.89 on a wig. Figure another $3.50 for the stripey shirt. This completely baffles the employees, who say "I've never seen this middle-aged woman in a bad wig before."
Genius Move No. 3: The "little blue purse." It really brings the whole ensemble together. And since you know you're going to be all but posing Glamour Shots-style for that branch's security camera, a kicky accessory can be the difference between drab and fab.
The scary thing is that this woman -- if she is a woman, and not a man perpetrating even impressive more disguise skills -- is walking our streets right now, and you'd never know what he/she looks like. It could be your boss. It could be your significant other.
Any info, call Crimestoppers at 713-222-TIPS.
Keep the Houston Press Free... Since we started the Houston Press, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Houston, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Houston with no paywalls.