We were excited to get a press release today announcing the August 14th grand opening of a new pole-dancing-fitness-t&a-jigglegym, PoleLaTeaz. But how does PoleLaTeaz compare with S Factor or Carmen's Boutique? Let's take a look.

Miscellaneous Class Names at PoleLaTeaz: Sexy Flexy, Chair, Jiggle It

Miscellaneous Class Names at S Factor: Flipalicious, S du Soleil, Fly Me to the Moon

Miscellaneous Class Names at Carmen's: None listed on the website, but you can buy an 11-inch Cybersilicone 2-Tone Dual Delight Double Dong.

Winner: Carmen's

Online Copy, PoleLaTeaz: "We all come together to offer our students an innovative, sexy workout that works no matter where you've been or what your experience."

Online Copy, S Factor: "To ensure a firm grip on the pole, please do not apply lotion on the day of class."

Online Copy, Carmen's: "This incredibly lifelike masturbator lets you choose between a tight vagina at one end and a lush mouth at the other end."

Winner: S Factor

Mission Statement, PoleLaTeaz:  "To offer women of all ages a unique form of exercise dedicated to strengthening and toning their bodies while unleashing their inner goddess in a safe, fun and encouraging environment."

Mission Statement, S Factor:  "Inspiring women to reach their highest potential."

Mission Statement, Carmen's: None listed, but we're pretty sure it has to do with sex.

Winner: They all win this one!

Holiday Stuff, PoleLaTeaz: "Valentine's Striptease"

Holiday Stuff, S Factor: None that we could find.

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Holiday Stuff, Carmen's: "Candy Cane Vibrator."

Winner: PoleLaTeaz 

We hoped this helped. Now get out there and hit the poles.