We were excited to get a press release today announcing the August 14th grand opening of a new pole-dancing-fitness-t&a-jigglegym, PoleLaTeaz. But how does PoleLaTeaz compare with S Factor or Carmen's Boutique? Let's take a look.
Miscellaneous Class Names at PoleLaTeaz: Sexy Flexy, Chair, Jiggle It
Miscellaneous Class Names at S Factor: Flipalicious, S du Soleil, Fly Me to the Moon
Miscellaneous Class Names at Carmen's: None listed on the website, but you can buy an 11-inch Cybersilicone 2-Tone Dual Delight Double Dong.
Online Copy, PoleLaTeaz: "We all come together to offer our students an innovative, sexy workout that works no matter where you've been or what your experience."
Online Copy, S Factor: "To ensure a firm grip on the pole, please do not apply lotion on the day of class."
Online Copy, Carmen's: "This incredibly lifelike masturbator lets you choose between a tight vagina at one end and a lush mouth at the other end."
Winner: S Factor
Mission Statement, PoleLaTeaz: "To offer women of all ages a unique form of exercise dedicated to strengthening and toning their bodies while unleashing their inner goddess in a safe, fun and encouraging environment."
Mission Statement, S Factor: "Inspiring women to reach their highest potential."
Mission Statement, Carmen's: None listed, but we're pretty sure it has to do with sex.
Winner: They all win this one!
Holiday Stuff, PoleLaTeaz: "Valentine's Striptease"
Holiday Stuff, S Factor: None that we could find.
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Holiday Stuff, Carmen's: "Candy Cane Vibrator."
We hoped this helped. Now get out there and hit the poles.