A Private Suite for Super Bowl XLVII Only Costs $136,380 -- Wanna Go Halfsies?

Yes, with just two days before the big game on Sunday evening, plenty of Super Bowl tickets can be had. For a price. A steep price. A price that few of you reading this can afford. Perhaps your boss can, if you have one of them fancy suit jobs where you can't wear house shoes to work.

Right now on TicketExchangeByTicketMaster, you can snag a private suite at the Mercedes-Benz Superdome for just about the cost of a fixer-upper starter home in the suburbs.

You can also sit up with peons in filth and squalor for around $1,300 in section 642. You get a free commemorative chamber pot to piss in, too.

Or you could live a little and plunk down around $6K for a stadium hospitality trip, complete with a full bar, a premium food menu, and a post-game trip to the field. Not bad at all.

Instead of a chamber pot, you actually get a retired NFL star to escort you to the bathroom, where he will wipe your ass if needed, permitting that he has no lasting debilitating injuries from his playing days that will make cleaning for buttocks difficult.

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Craig Hlavaty
Contact: Craig Hlavaty