4

A Street Tale: The $15,000 Condom

^
Keep Houston Press Free
I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Houston and help keep the future of Houston Press free.

Around noon on February 11, an unidentified Beaumont man -- a horny one, by the sound of this report -- was patrolling the city's southside streets in his SUV, looking for action.

He found it in the form of 26-year-old Renee Denise Stoker, who likely didn't advertise the fact that she had been arrested several times in the past six years for offenses ranging from pot possession to assault.

Nevertheless, Stoker and the man apparently really hit it off. Evidently they enjoyed each other's company so much, they wanted to take their relationship to the next step immediately. Or so the man thought, as he headed to a Quik-E Mart to purchase a condom.

How wrong he was.

As it happened, he would be the only one getting screwed in this transaction; and his SUV would be the only thing getting stripped.

By the time he had secured his package of jimmy-hats, both his ride and Stoker were gone in a cloud of Beaumont grit. The picked-apart remains of the man's SUV were soon found on some godforsaken street corner; here's hoping the man didn't have a wife or girlfriend he had to answer to...

For her part, Stoker was arrested and indicted this week on charges of unauthorized use of a motor vehicle, a state jail felony punishable by six months to two years incarceration in state jail.

As for the moral to this sordid little street tale? Sounds like this guy was never in the Boy Scouts. Had he learned to "Be prepared," he would never have needed to make that costly Quick E Mart stop.

Keep the Houston Press Free... Since we started the Houston Press, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Houston, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Houston with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.

 

Join the Press community and help support independent local journalism in Houston.

 

Join the Press community and help support independent local journalism in Houston.