Airport Pat-Downs: The Latest Stupid Non-Issue

Hey, everyone: November 24 is National Opt-Out Day!!

"It's the day ordinary citizens stand up for their rights [and] stand up for liberty," organizers say.

Opting out of paying taxes until Don't Ask, Don't Tell is repealed? Standing up against the government's ability to wiretap you whenever the hell they want thanks to the Patriot Axct?

No. It's the day to stand up against the Forces of Evil as represented by some quick frisking at the airport.

Are people so paranoid about some bored and not-enjoying-it TSA employee lightly patting their bodies that they are screaming to high heaven? Apparently, yes.

Not to mention the whole issue of sophisticated body-scan images that -- gasp -- produce images that make you look like a mannequin, with no facial features?

But -- but -- your sputter -- what about those Florida security guards who kept the images and now they're all over the web?

Look at the pictures. We've seen better definition on pre-K drawings of Mommy and Daddy.

Dudes, if your junk is so small you're terrified of someone seeing evidence of it, we sympathize. Ladies, if you think you're so hot that you're turning the TSA frisker into a lesbian, well, probably not.

But please, go ahead and opt out on November 24. Only if the TSA sets up a completely separate line for all the opt-outers. The rest of us will put up with a bored, painless frisk if it means our line will be shorter.

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