Alex Rodriguez's Handwritten Apology Letter to You, Baseball Fan

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It feels like it's been so long since Alex Rodriguez has been part of our lives, I had almost forgotten he existed. I knew there was a reason why food tasted slightly better, sleep was slightly more sound and the air was slightly fresher the past year or so -- NO A-ROD!

However, it's time to come to grips with reality. Alex Rodriguez, however old and out of shape he may be, is coming back mostly because it's the only way he will collect his $61 million the Yankees still owe him. His suspension is over.

Also, he wants you to know that he's sorry for what he did and lied about multiple times. In fact, he wrote to apologize to you yesterday....

In case you're having any trouble opening that picture or reading his handwriting (and if you're having a problem reading his handwriting, that's a YOU problem....his penmanship is beautiful), here is the transcript of A-Rod's apology letter:

"To the Fans, I take full responsibility for the mistakes that led to my suspension for the 2014 season. I regret that my actions made the situation worse than it needed to be. To Major League Baseball, the Yankees, the Steinbrenner family, the Players Association and you, the fans, I can only say I'm sorry.

I accept the fact that many of you will not believe my apology or anything that I say at this point. I understand why and that's on me. It was gracious of the Yankees to offer me the use of Yankee Stadium for this apology, but I decided that next time I am in Yankee Stadium, I should be in pinstripes doing my job.

I served the longest suspension in the history of the league for PED use. The Commissioner has said the matter is over. The Players Association has said the same. The Yankees have said the next step is to play baseball.

I'm ready to put this chapter behind me and play some ball.

This game has been my single biggest passion since I was a teenager. When I go to Spring Training, I will do everything I can to be the best player and teammate possible, earn a spot on the Yankees and help us win.

Sincerely, Alex"

A few thoughts on this masterpiece:

1. This letter is such an A-Rod move on so many levels. First let's start with the fact that it's a handwritten note. Now, I'm as big a handwritten-thank-you guy as there is. I am a chronic thanker. I think handwritten notes are a good (and these days, rare) thing. This just feels like A-Rod was reading some article in GQ about how to make a favorable impression and bullet point number seven was "Write more personal handwritten notes." So now A-Rod is making himself more likable by writing a handwritten note to society.

2. I guarantee you that since there are technically about 300,000,000 people this letter is targeted toward, A-Rod wants credit as if he wrote 300,000,000 individual letters, one to each and every American.

3. For a guy who has made about a quarter of a billion dollars in his career, I expected better stationery than "standard white copier paper purchased from Dunder Mifflin." Something with a little eggshell color, or a nice engraved address, or just a simple "From the Desk of Alex" somewhere. Very uninspiring parchment.

4. The Yankees still owe Rodriguez around $61 million. They've actually signed Chase Headley to play third base for them on a multiyear deal that will pay out more than $50 million. So what will A-Rod's job be? Let the record reflect that I hope the Yankees force him to do all sorts of menial tasks to earn his money. Picking up garbage in the dugout, serving food at the pregame catering session, latrine duty. I am all in on this idea.

5. Oh, one other thing, America. Alex Rodriguez doesn't owe you an apology, so hopefully you're not all stout about "accepting" it. He owes his teammates an apology, he probably owes the Yankees an apology (although they had to know what they were getting into when they forked over a second contract to him) and he owes Hulk Hogan an apology for stealing his "orange skin" gimmick.

He owes you nothing. Be happy with the handwritten note you personally received from him (over Twitter) yesterday.

Listen to Sean Pendergast on SportsRadio 610 from 2 p.m. to 6 p.m. weekdays. Also, follow him on Twitter at http://twitter.com/SeanCablinasian.

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