All-Time Great Headlines, Part VXII

KHOU has a story up about their interview with Astros pitcher Brandon Backe, who was cleared by a Galveston grand jury last week of any charges stemming from a wedding brawl he was involved in.

The headline? "Backe Talks About The Minutes He Spent Behind Bars."

And you thought Papillon was a searing prison story.

Why the hell couldn't this KHOU piece be a six-part series? We're thinking maybe each segment devoted to, say, three of the "minutes he spent behinf bars."

Really, is there a less grabbing headline they could have used?

"Local Man Talks Of Mild Annoyance."


"Woman Delayed For 8 Seconds By Slow-Moving Pedestrian."

"Cell Phone Keeps Cutting Out During Semi-Important Call, Resident Claims."

To be sure, it sucks to be arrested, especially if it turns out to be a wrongful arrest. But "Minutes Behind Bars!!" is not going to be a made-for-TV-movie anytime soon, dudes.

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Richard Connelly
Contact: Richard Connelly