And Now, a Word or Three on the Texans

I suppose I should say something about the upcoming football season. But I’ll confess: preseason football bores the shit out of me. But the Texans do have a game coming up on Saturday night. I think they’re playing some team called the Chicago Bears. Didn’t the Bears go to the Super Bowl last season with a quarterback worse than David Carr? Yet the Texans, who have no running game, no offensive line, no wide receiving options other than Andre Johnson, and an awful defense, are, from what I understand, supposed to be playoff contenders because Matt Schaub’s now playing quarterback.

Uh, yeah.

I happened to be reading the Chron yesterday and I came across this little masterpiece from NFL expert John McLane. It’s about what you’d expect from the Chron. General optimism with some facts thrown that speaks to the actual suckiness of the team.

You know, facts like Schaub’s only started two games in his professional career. Facts like the team’s depending on the aging injury-prone Ahman Green to be the lead running back and that he’s backed up by Ron Dayne, Wali Lundy and Samkon Gado – substitute Domanick Davis for Ahman Green and you have last season’s magnificent backfield. Facts like 19 is the high number for receptions in a season by the new number two wide receiver.

It will be kind of interesting this season. Carr’s gone. Casserly’s gone. Capers is gone. So who’s actually going to get the blame if things go wrong this season? Schaub? Rick Smith. Gary Kubiak? Mario Williams?

I am sure of this: if the Texans win on Saturday night, the Chron and the throats on 610, 790, 97.5 and the new John Granato station will be telling us that this is the first sign of greatness. If the team loses, we’ll be told not to worry because it’s only preseason.

And of this I’m also confident, no matter what the Texans do this season, I’m still going to be told that Vince Young is God. – John Royal

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