Well, Texan fan, hopefully you've put your grief behind you. Yeah, I know it hasn't even been 48 hours since you were forced to digest the news that Andre Johnson's Texan career will be coming to a close imminently.
But this is 2015. It's the age of short attention spans, and by definition, if you're only capable of paying attention to news items for 24 hours, then you're only allowed to grieve over news items for 24 hours. These are my rules.
By the way, yesterday's au revoir to Andre Johnson wasn't something that should've sideswiped you. We all knew this day would come eventually. (I'm mildly surprised it didn't happen a year ago.) Frankly, go look at the list of the top receivers of all-time, and most of them had cameos in a uniform-not-normally-associated-with-them at the end of their careers.
Jerry Rice is a San Francisco 49er. He played four moderately productive seasons for Oakland and (not so much) Seattle at the end of his career.
Terrell Owens is the second leading receiver of all-time. His best years were with the Niners, but he was a vagabond. Philly, Dallas, Cincinnati, Buffalo at the end. Granted, that was mostly because Terrell Owens was an asshole.
Randy Moss, same as Owens. Great years in Minnesota, asshole years in Oakland, record breaker in New England, dispatched to Tennessee (and Minnesota again), before ending his career losing a Super Bowl with San Francisco.
Did you know that "career Ram" Isaac Bruce played a bunch of nondescript games for some bad Niners teams at the end of his run? Did you know "career Raider" Tim Brown closed out his run with some time in Tampa Bay? How about Cris Carter in Miami? Torry Holt in Jacksonville? Andre Reed in Washington?
My point? Shit happens, especially this shit.
So accept it, Texan fan. Now comes the concern -- and you'll see concern is the appropriate term -- as to where Andre Johnson will wind up? Here's what my totally unscientific betting board looks like:
DALLAS COWBOYS +2000 The Cowboys have almost no cap space, still have to sign Dez Bryant and DeMarco Murray, might make a run at Adrian Peterson, and have other holes on defense to fill. The math almost doesn't allow signing Andre Johnson, but you have to factor Jerry's "crazy" into this mix. 20-1 feels right.
GREEN BAY PACKERS +1000 Signing aging veterans hasn't normally been the Packers' mode of doing business, although they have signed Charles Woodson and Julius Peppers in recent years, and those moves have largely worked. If Randall Cobb leaves, there's a hole at wide receiver. Johnson at a reasonable cost would be a great complement to Jordy Nelson.
SEATTLE SEAHAWKS +500 This is the one really good team Andre Johnson could go to and actually be higher up on the pecking order than he was with the Texans. Oh, and they were one weird play call away from being back to back Super Bowl champions.
DENVER BRONCOS +300 Conversely, this is the one team where Andre Johnson is likely further down the route tree than he was with the Texans, with Demaryius Thomas and Emanuel Sanders already in the fold in Denver. But don't discount the Kubiak Factor. Also, the Broncos have cap space to take on a modest Andre deal.
NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS +200 This is the one place Andre Johnson would probably have to bite the bullet financially to go to. The Patriots will absolutely not overpay for Andre Johnson (or anybody, for that matter), but they likely give him the best chance at a Super Bowl, outside of Seattle. If Andre Johnson goes to New England, we will know exactly what a Super Bowl is worth to him, in part because....
If you like this story, consider signing up for our email newsletters.
SHOW ME HOW
You have successfully signed up for your selected newsletter(s) - please keep an eye on your mailbox, we're movin' in!
INDIANAPOLIS COLTS +125 ....reportedly, one of three teams willing to pay Johnson his $10 million salary for 2015 is the Indianapolis Colts. Make no mistake, on the Schaub Scale of Bad Houston Football News, this is the equivalent of 100 pick sixes. (That's how I equate bad news for the Texans, I convert them to "How many Schaub pick sixes is it equal to?") This would be the worst.
FIELD +300 Baltimore is the only team outside of these six I see as reasonable choices for Andre Johnson. Maybe Miami, if he wants to go back home, but they're not sniffing a Super Bowl.
So there you go. Who ya got?