Texans mandatory minicamp ended on Thursday afternoon, as did minicamps in numerous other NFL cities, which means we are heading into the Sahara Desert of the sports calendar -- late June and the entire month of July.
The only way to survive and navigate the upcoming six weeks is with a lot of creativity, a little bit of vacation, and a few gifts from the sports gods.
So here I go, hitting my knees in sports prayer, that the sports gods don't allow Donald Sterling to give up the fight.
Please, Sports Lord, let the old man continue to cling to his franchise like a branch on the banks of a raging river, and in doing so, let him continue to spew hell, fire and brimstone like he has in the last four days.
In Mick Foley's name we pray, Amen.
Ok, what am I talking about, you ask? Well, I tell you.
As the NBA and Shelly Sterling continue to try and cram through the $2 billion sale of the Los Angeles Clippers to former Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer, Donald Sterling sprays venom at everyone who has brought this struggle to a head (other than the one guy that he sees in the mirror every day, Sterling seems to give him a pass).
First, there was Pierce O'Donnell, Shelly's attorney, who according to TMZ, Sterling threatened to kill in a phone call earlier this month:
Sources connected to the situation tell us ... when Shelly's lawyers go to court this morning, they will tell the judge that Donald called Pierce on June 9th and threatened to "sue everyone" connected to the sale of the L.A. Clippers.
We're told ... Shelly says during the call, Donald told Pierce that he will "take you out" -- which Shelly and Pierce both believe is a direct threat on his life.
That's fine, but to be fair, at this point, there's a 50/50 chance that Donald's brain changed channels mid conversation and put him in a flashback where he was once again trying to bed V. Stiviano by offering to "take her out" to a fine seafood dinner.
Shelly's camp believes it's further proof that Donald is mentally incapacitated and unable to manage his business affairs.
Shelly also claims that Donald has personally tried to intimidate two doctors who are both scheduled to testify about his diminished mental capacity during the hearing.
Intimidating the doctors, eh? Well, conveniently enough, the two doctors in question save their voicemail messages and have no problem adding themselves to the ever growing list of people who will dime Donald Sterling out in a heartbeat. Here are the two voicemail messages in question!
Donald Sterling leaves message for psychiatrist James Edward Spar
The best parts of this message:
0:30 -- "I'm not incompetent, you're incompetent, you stupid fucking doctor!"
0:39 -- First of several "conspiracy" blasts.
1:07 -- "I'm just so excited, I'm so angry, I'm so...." (NOTE: If he were Jesse Spano, this would be where he'd break into "I'm so....scaaaarrred!!")
1:24 -- "You're nothing but a tramp!" (NOTE: Another spot where his brain may have flipped into "talking to V. Stiv" mode)
1:42 -- "Conspiracy." Drink.
1:59 -- "Conspiracy." Drink again.
Donald Sterling leaves message for psychiatrist Meril S. Platze
Ok, highlights of message number two:
0:16 -- Sterling forgets his phone number right off the bat, which is a bad look if you're trying to deny mental incapacity.
0:38 -- "...and I'm suing you for conspiracy!" Drink.
0:45 -- "Conpiracy." Liver failing.
0:55 -- "All you did was go to the Beverly Hills hotel and drink liquor!"
1:30 -- "Conspiracy." Dead.
The final salvo from the TMZ article:
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Shelly wants a judge to issue an order banning Donald from threatening or intimidating O'Donnell, the doctors ... or any other witnesses connected to the case.
Please, to whichever judge is hearing the case for this restraining order on Donald Sterling, I beg you, do NOT do it. The fate of radio and blogs during the month of July depends on your ruling.