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Keep Houston Press Free
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Announcements That Are Almost As Startling As Mark McGwire's Steroid Confession

Former St. Louis Cardinal Mark McGwire gave a statement today to the Associated Press admitting he used performance-enhancing drugs during baseball's steroid era.

The sports world is reeling from the confession, which came completely out of the blue. It is, of course, absolutely shocking; in fact, it ranks right up there with other shocking disclosures made in the past.

1. James Cameron admits "there's a bit of CGI" in Avatar.
"Some scenes -- not all, I hasten to add -- involved a little tweaking by computers," Cameron said. "I'm glad I got that off my chest."

2. Houston TV meteorogists: "Sometimes we hype the possibility of bad weather."
"There's 'Just to be on the safe side,' and there's 'Anything for ratings,' and let's just say sometimes we lean a bit towards the latter," the prepared statement quoted them as saying.

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3. Peyton Manning allows how he doesn't mind calling an audible now and then.
"Or not calling an audible, but just standing there on the line of scrimmage calling things out and wabing my arms," the Colts QB said. "For however long it takes to give the announcers a chance to focus on me."

4. American Idol producers admit they wouldn't mind if "an American Susan Boyle" emerged in the contest.
"Who knows? It might generate some publicity," they said.

5.Bruce Springsteen concedes that "the plight of the working class" is a good subject for a song or two.
"Especially if they drive cars," he added. "Being noble helps, too."

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