Sunday is April Fools' Day, which is a blessing since if it was on a workday we'd have to hear about wacky morning radio hosts bringing the hilarity.
But apparently some people take the day seriously, like the folks at the April Fool Zone Web site, which offers "unique and fun April fool's Day pranks."
Let's take a look at some.
6. "Sneaky Snow"
Buy a can of fake snow. Early on April Fool's Day, sneak outside and spray the fake snow around the edges of your victim's bedroom window. Put some more on the ground wherever it will be visible from inside. Now wake up your victim and tell them it snowed during the night! This prank works best on a child or on the very gullible! Note: If you don't have fake snow, you can try tricking them with some mashed potato flakes.
Comment: This prank concisely argues why we hate practical jokes, in April or any other time.
Breaking it down: 1. "Early on April Fool's Day..." You lost us already. We'd rather hit the snooze button. 2. "Now wake up your victim and tell them it snowed during the night!" This deserves an exclamation point? 3. "This prank works best on a child or on the very gullible!" And what better people to make look like idiots than the very gullible or kids? 4. "Note: if you don't have fake snow, you can try tricking them with some mashed potato flakes." Dear starving kid in the ad: Yeah, I was gonna send you some food, but instead I got this great idea for a prank. 5. The payoff: Okay, you tell the gullible or innocent that it snowed. It then takes them approximately 1.6 seconds to determine it actually didn't snow, it was just some idiot spraying fake snow. Or mashed potato flakes.
5. "Nailed Ya!" Again with the exclamation points! Frankly, we've seen IKEA instructions that were easier to follow than this thing:
Find a small picture, a wall calendar, or similar item that can be hung up. Take a nail and use wire cutters to cut off the nail head, then glue the nail head to the item you're going to hang. Now glue a magnet to the back of the item. Take the item to the kitchen, along with a hammer. Stick the item to the refrigerator with the magnet, then start making a loud banging sound with the hammer. Hopefully, your victim will come to investigate the noise, and "catch" you nailing a picture to the refrigerator. (Note: you can play this trick on other surfaces as well wherever your victim will freak out about having a nail hole!)
4. "Hanky Painty" Let's examine the effort needed to produce one small moment of surprise from someone. Someone who can't tell if the bench he's sitting on has wet paint or not.
First scope out a local park, college, or other public area that has benches where people frequently sit. Note the color of the benches. Now find some paint that matches the color of the benches. Take some old clothes and paint stripes on the back of the clothes - make them look like you sat on a freshly-painted bench. Let the clothes dry, then put them on. Now go to the park. Tape a "Wet Paint" sign to the bench, then sit down with your back covering the sign so no one can see it. Wait for someone to come and sit next to you. When you are sure they are watching, stand up with your back showing and act upset that you just realized you sat in paint (point to the sign which is now visible). The person will freak out thinking they sat in paint!
Bonus points for feeling the need to instruct people to a) put on the clothes, b) wait for someone to be the victim (because otherwise it's not much of a prank, really), and c) "point to the sign which is now visible."
We wonder why they didn't include notes like "remember to breathe" and "walk by putting one foot in front of the other." 3. "Chewy"
Offer to make a sandwich for the victim. But don't remove the wrapper from the slice of cheese. When they bite down they'll get a chewy surprise.
Oh yeah, now I remember why I've never really thought you were funny.
2. "May I Have Mayo"
Replace the lotion in your victim's lotion bottle with mayonnaise.
WHO THE FUCK DOES THIS?!?!
1. "April Snow's Day"
This takes some pre-planning. Record the morning news on a day when schools are closed for a snow day. Then play it back on April 1st in the morning while the kids are getting ready for school.
Caution: Prank only works if you live in a windowless bunker.
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