Astros' New Slogan: We Improve It Nine Different Ways

Keep Houston Press Free
I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Houston and help keep the future of Houston Press free.

Just in case you haven't gotten Astros Fever, the team has come up with a way to infect you: a new slogan.

It's ""Root. Root. Root."


The team says "the slogan, inspired by the song Take Me Out To The Ballgame, will be prominently displayed on banners around and inside Minute Maid Park this season."


We have some better suggestions:

9. "Moot. Moot. Moot." -- What the point of discussing the team's title chances are.

8. "Schrute. Schrute. Schrute." -- Because the Astros are definitely Dwight Schrute-like and totally live up to his acronym "Determined, Worker, Intense, Good worker, Hard worker, Terrific." As much as he does.

7. "Coot. Coot. Coot." -- Actually, thew blew their chance at this; it would have fit well with some of the aged, decrepit veterans they were throwing out there before the rebuilding began in earnest.

6. "Boot. Boot. Boot." -- An ode to the infield.

5. "Loot. Loot. Loot." -- In honor of what other teams did to former GM Ed Wade.

4. "Mute. Mute. Mute." -- What fans do when Milo Hamilton takes over the play-by-play.

3. "Hoot. Hoot. Hoot." -- Since fans are always hooting with laughter at Carlos Lee's efforts to play the field or run out a grounder, you might as well take advantage of it with a slogan.

2. "Cute. Cute. Cute." -- Tiny little Jose Altuve, trying his wee heart out.

1. "Newt. Newt. Newt." -- The Astros' chances of winning the division are about equal to Gingrich getting the GOP nod, although we would greatly enjoy it if both things happened.

Follow Hair Balls News on Facebook and on Twitter @HairBallsNews.

Keep the Houston Press Free... Since we started the Houston Press, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Houston, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Houston with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.


Join the Press community and help support independent local journalism in Houston.


Join the Press community and help support independent local journalism in Houston.