The Astros' new role model
The Astros' new role model

Astros' New Slogan: We Improve It Nine Different Ways

Just in case you haven't gotten Astros Fever, the team has come up with a way to infect you: a new slogan.

It's ""Root. Root. Root."


The team says "the slogan, inspired by the song Take Me Out To The Ballgame, will be prominently displayed on banners around and inside Minute Maid Park this season."


We have some better suggestions:

9. "Moot. Moot. Moot." -- What the point of discussing the team's title chances are.

8. "Schrute. Schrute. Schrute." -- Because the Astros are definitely Dwight Schrute-like and totally live up to his acronym "Determined, Worker, Intense, Good worker, Hard worker, Terrific." As much as he does.

7. "Coot. Coot. Coot." -- Actually, thew blew their chance at this; it would have fit well with some of the aged, decrepit veterans they were throwing out there before the rebuilding began in earnest.

Jose Altuve IS SO bigger than his bat
Jose Altuve IS SO bigger than his bat

6. "Boot. Boot. Boot." -- An ode to the infield.

5. "Loot. Loot. Loot." -- In honor of what other teams did to former GM Ed Wade.

4. "Mute. Mute. Mute." -- What fans do when Milo Hamilton takes over the play-by-play.

3. "Hoot. Hoot. Hoot." -- Since fans are always hooting with laughter at Carlos Lee's efforts to play the field or run out a grounder, you might as well take advantage of it with a slogan.

2. "Cute. Cute. Cute." -- Tiny little Jose Altuve, trying his wee heart out.

1. "Newt. Newt. Newt." -- The Astros' chances of winning the division are about equal to Gingrich getting the GOP nod, although we would greatly enjoy it if both things happened.

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