Attacker Suffers From Mental Illness, Antiquated Weaponry

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Apparently there was something going on in the nation's capital on Tuesday. We at Hair Balls were too full of cough syrup and Tylenol PM to remember what it was with any clarity (the entire Houston Press building is sick), but it must have been a big deal to overshadow what happened in Houston at the Texas Components building on San Jacinto.

Julie Parker, 33, walked in around 8:21 a.m. and shot Armando Silva, 49, in the chest.

With a bow and arrow.

And you thought mornings at your office were rough.

Unfortunately for Parker, who also brandished a toy gun (which we assume looked at least passably real), two of Silva's co-workers just happened to have conceal-and-carry licenses. They drew their guns and shot her multiple times before running out of the building.

When police arrived, they found Parker hiding in an office, still armed with the bow and arrow. She made some kind of threatening move ("wheeled on [the officer]," according to Sergeant John Chomiak) and the police shot her a few more times before she finally went down.

Wednesday, her mother told KPRC that Julie suffered from mental illness.

Well, there went all of Hair Balls' Robin Hood/Legolas jokes. We don't poke fun at the mentally ill, the same way Bili apes don't attack humans. Too much of a kinship.

Both Silva and Parker are in stable condition and recovering in area hospitals. Yes, even Parker is out of the woods, which is pretty incredible considering the second half of the incident sounds a lot like the end of Scarface. She's been charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon.

Even though Parker's father works in the building, officially there is, as of yet, no known motive.

Yeah, okay. Maybe nobody's saying anything, but we're guessing Thanksgiving is going to be pretty awkward this year in the Parker household.

-- John Seaborn Gray

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