Man, what a weekend of college basketball!
We saw one for the ages between Wichita State and Kentucky on Sunday afternoon, we saw the death of the Big East as we know it with their top two teams going down to a 7 seed and a 6 seed, and we saw just enough Cinderellas sneak through to where the match ups in the Sweet Sixteen are, for the most part, compelling.
The biggest upset of the weekend was probably 11 seed Dayton knocking off 3 seed Syracuse in the South Region. Dayton was one of six teams to come into the tournament from the much maligned Atlantic 10, and saved the conference the ignominy of coming up empty in the Sweet Sixteen.
It was an amazing game Saturday night, and it sets up the possibility (albeit unlikely) that Dayton head coach Archie Miller and his brother Sean (head coach at West 1 seed Arizona) could meet in the Finals, a sort of college basketball version of the Harbaughs.
And that's where our story begins, with confusion caused the existence of multiple Miller brothers.
Greg Gumbel, as many of you know, is the lead studio host on CBS' March Madness coverage. While probably best known by many Houston readers for being the second or third team play-by-play person for CBS on their NFL coverage (and the person who has been tasked for several years with acting like what Dan Dierdorf is saying makes sense), his presence on college basketball has been a March staple.
Greg Gumbel has done hundreds of coaches interviews and always seems pretty well prepared. However, apparently, he got a little sideways as to which Miller brother he was interviewing on Sunday afternoon.
Or perhaps Gumbel can't tell Sean and Archie apart. (Insert joke here about all white people looking the same to Greg Gumbel.)
Anyway, here's how twenty of the most awkward seconds of the tournament so far (not involving Fred Hoiberg dancing) went down...
Ok, the problems here...
1. The obvious one where Gumbel calls Archie Miller "Sean." This was the trigger event, the explosion that began the chaos.
2. Gumbel congratulates "Sean," who is actually Archie, for making the Sweet Sixteen along with his "brother Archie." Archie, thinking he might have swapped bodies with his brother, like Jason Bateman and Ryan Reynolds in The Change Up, seems even more confused than Gumbel sounds.
3. Perhaps Archie was concerned about swapping bodies with his brother Sean because a) Sean is fatter and b) that would mean that Sean (in Archie's body) could have rampant, crazy sex with Archie's hot wife. (Yes, a dude named "Archie" has a hot wife.)
3. Gumbel screams out "SEAN!" trying to get Archie's attention, which was waning because Archie all of a sudden thought he might be Sean, and "Holy shit, my brother might be in my body banging my wife!"
4. Clearly, the producers at that point just said "EJECT...EJECT...GUMMMMBEEEELLLLL!!!!" and in his silky smooth Gumbel voice, Greg Gumbel thanked the generic "coach" and then fired three interns once they went to break.
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SHOW ME HOW
Honestly, there's a fantastic opportunity here, if everyone is up for it, where they re-enact this whole scene but have Archie Miller calling Greg Gumbel "Bryant" the whole time. Either that or this is the beginning of CBS' building a hotshot angle for Wrestlemania in a couple weeks where the Millers take on the Gumbels in a "falls count anywhere" match.
What do you think, Archie? I mean, Sean.