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Bald-Faced Guys: Hilton Koch and Sam Malone

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We’ve just received word that Comets owner Hilton Koch is going to be on the Sam Malone Morning Show (Mix 96.5) this Friday, getting his head shaved to fulfill a promise he’d made to the Children’s Memorial Hermann Hospital Trauma Unit.

Koch agreed to shave his head (and Malone offered up his mustache) if the show raised $50,000 in donations, and, well, if you don’t know whether the goal was reached, you’re probably not very good at reading comprehension.

We here at Houstoned are itching to make a “shaved Koch” joke, but since he’s getting clipped for such a great cause, we’ll refrain. In fact, we’re so inspired by Koch’s upcoming on-air act that we’ve decided to make our own sacrifice online.

We’ve now placed a pinkie finger in a paper cutter. Too bad you can’t see it, but trust us, that digit sure looks precarious just sitting there. Yep, the lever could drop at any second. Whoosh! Oh, shit! The finger’s gone! The finger’s gone! There’s blood everywhere, people! My God! The horror! The horror!

Hey, whatever we can do for the kids. – Keith Plocek

Keep the Houston Press Free... Since we started the Houston Press, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Houston, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Houston with no paywalls.

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Join the Press community and help support independent local journalism in Houston.