As you've no doubt heard by now -- or, if you're a Texan, felt like a great disturbance in the force -- State Fair's Big Tex burned to its frame today.
The icon for generations of fairgoers was taken down by an electrical short, so at least we don't have terrorists to blame.
But it's simply too much to ask people to go to the Fair and not be greeted, if not by Tex then by some adequate fill-in.
Luckily, we're here to offer Plan B. And no, it's never "too soon" when it comes to Tex and the Fair.
6. Willie Nelson Just don't look too closely at what he's using as a pointer. We're sure he'll be more careful with the fire aspect than some unthinking electrical short was.
5. Tony Romo All fumbled footballs can be kept by lucky fans as souvenirs. Unless they're run back for touchdowns by the opposition.
4. Matthew McConaughey "It's Bongo Day at the Fair. Please remove all clothing, after you've visited the Willie Nelson kiosk."
3. Billy Gibbons The left arm circles, "Sharp-Dressed Man"-style, to bring a little extra panache to the whole thing.
2. J.R. In lieu of a metrosexual sipping a weenie beer in the West End, J.R. will show visitors what Dallas is all about.
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1. Beyoncé We can't tell where she's pointing, but we don't care. A little bit of Houston for Big D.