^
Keep Houston Press Free
4

Boycott McDonalds -- Unless You're Gay

Put down that McDonald's Happy Meal!! It's killing you!!

Not because it's fast food -- that's a slow death, sure, but it's only for this lifetime. That meal is actually killing you FOR ETERNITY, banishing you to the foetid, burning swamps of hell, where Satan forces you to listen to Miley Cyrus 24/7.

How do we know this? Simple. Some of the leading religious authorities of our time have determined that McDonalds loves teh gheyz.

That's right. Ronald McDonald is encouraging hot, sweaty man-on-man sex. Lesbian stuff too, probably.

Fortunately, some strong leaders are taking a stand.

Donald Wildmon's American Family Association, Americans for Truth and the Illinois Family Institute are announcing a boycott of Mickey D's.

They're holding a press conference near McDonald's HQ in Illinois tomorrow.

We here in Houston love our McDonalds, to be sure. The love affair is a big part of why we annually challenge San Antonio and Milwaukee for the title of America's Fattest City.

I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Houston and help keep the future of Houston Press free.

But McDonalds has somehow chosen to join the National Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce. Perhaps they just signed the papers without looking too closely at the group's title, perhaps they were double-talked into it by some clean-cut guy quoting lyrics from Gypsy, but these religious experts are taking no chances.

Matthew Staver, dean of the Liberty University School of Law, says "McDonalds' personal attack against those who support the traditional definition of marriage, while siding with a narrow group that promotes a radical redefinition, shows that company executives are out to lunch. McDonalds might as well change their signs to read 'billions and billions insulted.'"

All you people who know God hates fags, stop going to McDonalds as of tomorrow. As for all you gays and lesbians hoping to support the company...good luck. Maybe a salad?

-- Richard Connelly

Keep the Houston Press Free... Since we started the Houston Press, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Houston, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Houston with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.

 

Join the Press community and help support independent local journalism in Houston.

 

Join the Press community and help support independent local journalism in Houston.