BREAKING OMG Important!! Tom DeLay Out Of Dancing With The Stars

People magazine, which has become the place to go to find news about Tom DeLay (and that says a lot more about Tom DeLay than People) is reporting that The Hammer is out of Dancing With The Stars.

Stress fractures have become too painful for the wussy Republican, who cried sissy tears at no longer being able to wear spangles. (Much of the information in the previous sentence is pure speculation.)

Says People:

DeLay was advised by doctors and the show's producers not to perform on Monday's show, but decided to go ahead with his samba with partner Cheryl Burke, saying on the broadcast, "What's a little pain when we can party?"

By the end of the night, though, DeLay told PEOPLE he was paying the price for the performance. "They're starting to tell me I shouldn't have done this," he said of his feet, which were dressed in orthopedic booties after the show. "I ice them. I've got a bone stimulator machine that I put on them."

Hammer, don't hurt `em. Your feet, that is.

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