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Breaking: Rick Perry Hates The Texas Flag

What does Rick Perry have against the Texas flag? Why does he hate it so?

We can only assume that he is utterly embarrassed by the Lone Star flag, which features the red coloring that honors the blood shed by our ancestors for Texas, because the DPS is taking it off the state's driver's licenses.

The new DLs will instead feature a boring, generic skyline of skyscrapers that we'll bet are supposed to be from various Texas cities but instead just look like a whole lot of nothing.

And what -- we're supposed to believe Texas is all about skyscrapers? The Aggie Perry couldn't stand to toss in a Longhorn or two?

Also suspicious -- there's a "USA TX" added to the corner of the new licenses. I thought we were seceding, dammit? When we do, are we going to have to get whole new driver's licenses?

The new DLs, which will be phased in, have numerous security features "which DPS will not discuss publicly," a statement says.

Also not discussed publicly -- Rick Perry's hatred of the Texas flag.

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