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Keep Houston Press Free
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Can LBJ Kick Chuck Norris' Ass?

We all know the facts about Chuck Norris:

Chuck Norris knows everything there is to know - Except for the definition of mercy.

Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.

A high tide means Chuck Norris is flying over your coast. The tide is caused by God pissing his pants.

We know all that. What we didn't know -- until now, until a respected polling company from The Woodlands decided to do a poll on it -- is whether Texans rate Chuck Norris better than they do LBJ.

The answer: They do.

LBJ has a favorable/unfavorable rating of 53/19 in the poll; Norris comes in at 58/16. (We guess the 16 percent don't know that Chuck Norris can judge a book by its cover.)

Here's the thing, though: Ann Richards kicks Norris' ass. She has a 62 percent favorable rating.

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It must be the hair.

The Norris/LBJ/Richards questions were tossed in as part of a far more legitimate poll by Hill Research Consultants, one which seems to indicate Texas is becoming more Democratic.

That won't make Chuck Norris happy. And as we all know, Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He waits.

-- Richard Connelly

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