Can LBJ Kick Chuck Norris' Ass?

Keep Houston Press Free
I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Houston and help keep the future of Houston Press free.

We all know the facts about Chuck Norris:

Chuck Norris knows everything there is to know - Except for the definition of mercy.

Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.

A high tide means Chuck Norris is flying over your coast. The tide is caused by God pissing his pants.

We know all that. What we didn't know -- until now, until a respected polling company from The Woodlands decided to do a poll on it -- is whether Texans rate Chuck Norris better than they do LBJ.

The answer: They do.

LBJ has a favorable/unfavorable rating of 53/19 in the poll; Norris comes in at 58/16. (We guess the 16 percent don't know that Chuck Norris can judge a book by its cover.)

Here's the thing, though: Ann Richards kicks Norris' ass. She has a 62 percent favorable rating.

It must be the hair.

The Norris/LBJ/Richards questions were tossed in as part of a far more legitimate poll by Hill Research Consultants, one which seems to indicate Texas is becoming more Democratic.

That won't make Chuck Norris happy. And as we all know, Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He waits.

-- Richard Connelly

Keep the Houston Press Free... Since we started the Houston Press, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Houston, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Houston with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.


Join the Press community and help support independent local journalism in Houston.


Join the Press community and help support independent local journalism in Houston.