Keep Houston Press Free

Candidate For Dumbest Fundraiser Ever, River Oaks Style

In case you were worried that the departure of Shelby Hodge would hamper the Houston Chronicle's tireless devotion to covering the inanities of rich, pampered self-obsessives in our town, fear not.

Molly Glentzer is on the beat, and among her first offerings is this masterpiece: "SWAT Team Storms Mansion As Part Of Gala Fun." It featured the photo to the right, featuring two jolly folks wackily posing "with one of the SWAT team's sniper rifles."

In the trademark Hodge-ian style, the report continues:

Forget ball gown drama. The second annual Houston Police Foundation Gala shook up all of River Oaks Oct. 17. Fireworks exploded above Tilman and Paige Fertitta's spread as helicopters buzzed the gardens, SWAT teams scaled the mansion, and "shootouts" and "bomb scares" erupted.

Sounds like Saturday night in the Fifth Ward.

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We're just so glad these folks had so much fun. It's what makes Houston Houston.

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