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Caught Between Ashley Judd and Nicole Kidman. And the Astros, Although They're Not Really in the Same League.

Before I get on with the Astros, I have a confession to make.

Ashley

, I’m sorry, but I was Nicole Kidman’s

secret fiancé

. I would’ve told you sooner, but Nicole really wanted to keep the whole thing a secret. Ultimately, that’s why the whole thing fell apart. I wanted to share our love with the world. I wanted to go on

Oprah

and

jump on the couch

and talk about how much I loved this girl, but Nicole just wouldn’t go for it.

So, I called it off.

Ashley, I’m all yours.

I feel better having that off of my chest.

Brandon Backe pitched for the first time in over a year yesterday. He looked a little rusty – rehab starts in the minors just aren’t the same as pitching in the majors – and the Astros went down to defeat – yeah, I know, shocking – by a score of 5-3.

I really don’t know what to say about the game. I watched. But it was just blah. Jim Deshaies trotted out the Adam Everett excuse for Chris Burke – his glove makes up for his lack of hitting. But it should be noted that Burke was at second in place of Biggio, and for the past couple of years, Biggio’s range has been non-existent, so talking about Burke’s glove really means zip.

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Meanwhile, it appears the Chron is actually making an effort to report some news. Apparently, Drayton’s starting the interview process for the general manager position on Thursday. The candidates are Ruben Amaro, Jr., assistant GM of the Phillies, and Dan Evans, the former GM of the Dodgers. Also supposedly under consideration is Dan Jennings, the Florida Marlins Vice President of Player Personnel.

Evans helped to rebuild the Dodgers farm system, and he worked under tight budget constraints, so that might help with the Astros. But he was fired when Frank McCourt purchased the Dodgers – McCourt’s kind of Drayton know-it-all type – so that might bode ill for Evans getting this job.

The Astros close out the series with Milwaukee tonight as Matt Albers takes the mound. The team will then take Thursday off and head off to New York for a three game series with the Mets.

And Ashley, call. I’m long over Nicole. – John Royal

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