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Choosing The New HISD Superintendent

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HISD, as you might have heard, is looking for a new superintendent.

This is a very complicated process that involves putting out a lot of paperwork, like the "request for proposals" distributed before bids are taken on major projects.

We've had a preview on the RFP for the new superintendent gig; here's what it looks like:

Job: Superintendent, largest school district in Texas

Responsibilities: Still living up to the mirage of the "Houston Miracle," believe it or not

Pre-requisites: Be black. Really, there's no way around it at this point

Things You Might Want To Think About Before Applying: You will be hired by the school board. In the past, this might not have meant much: HISD board members pretty much did what they were told. But nowadays -- call us crazy -- there are some minimal, bottom-line things we'd prefer to know about before you spring them on the public:

a) If you have any plans to -- for instance -- put an $800 million bond proposal before the electorate, we (the board members) might kind of like to know about it beforehand, so we could inform...oh, we don't know, THE PUBLIC MAYBE what's coming.

b) Quick quiz: You're the superintendent of a major urban school district. You have the wild idea to merge the campus of brainiac nerds with inner-city kids who like nothing better than torturing brainiac nerds. You should a) Make the proposal public without consulting your school board; b) resign immediately.

c) Magnet Schools: Great, or another possible medium to pissing off influential, rich white parents? Use extra sheets if necessary.

d) Is HISD really maximizing the potential for drug-sniffing dogs to wreak havoc on educational priorities? Elaborate on how they can be employed even more, with emphasis on how you would keep the school board in the dark about it.

e) When you announce plans to "take over" three struggling minority high schools, be sure to keep it secret until the last minute. We love surprises.

f) You are black, aren't you?

-- Richard Connelly

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