The Houston Museum of Natural Science has been furiously twittering about the ever-impending rare blooming of its corpse flower, a huge plant that becomes extremely smelly -- like dead-flesh smelly -- on the few occasions it opens up.
Trouble is, this rare blooming has been ever-impending since Friday. HMNS' Butterfly Center has been open 24/7 for visitors, but so far they've come away without the big prize.
It's like waiting for the world's smelliest baby to arrive. To while away the time, here are five things you can do to enhance your corpse-flower experience:
1. Go find a Dumpster full of the most rancid, old, fly-encrusted garbage you can. Stick you head in it. Close your eyes, and you can imagine you're smelling the corpse flower!!
2. Check out @corpzflowrlois on Twitter. Sample tweets:
-- had a nightmare that i was being held hostage and people were taking pics of me at 4am. oh wait.
-- i've overheard some ppl saying that i'm looking bigger (yes, i can hear u). thank god the Curves at Chelsea Market is nearby
-- shitshitshit just realized i was so hungover sunday that i forgot to take my pill. guess i'll be blooming this week after all
3. Make plans to see Little Shop of Horrors (for free!) across the street at the Miller Theater. Big plant, doesn't stink.
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SHOW ME HOW
4. Stare at paint drying. Try to get the smelliest paint available.
5. You could, like, check out the other stuff at the museum while you're there. Unless you're these at 4:30 a.m.