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Keep Houston Press Free
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Cougar on the Prowl for Michael Cera

As a proper lady (tee hee), Miss Pop Rocks isn’t one for admitting her age. Let’s just say that when the movie Flashdance came out, I thought I was the shit because I was the only girl at my grade school with a Flashdance sweatshirt. (It came pre-ripped!)

So anyway, it’s safe to say that when I was old enough to vote, Michael Cera was still using training wheels. That leads me to my next question: Am I a sick old lady for having the red hots for 19-year-old Michael Cera?

You know this kid…he’s one of Judd Apatow’s boys…got his start in Arrested Development, starred in Superbad and the super-brilliant Juno. Funny, witty, nervous, freaking adorable and nerdy-cute. I want to die! It’s like it’s middle school again, and I know the Tiger Beat profile on this boy. (Truly a boy…because I think he still lives with his parents!!!) Born in Canada, had his first break in a television commercial for Tim Hortons, created a brilliantly funny parody of the YouTube smash “Impossible is Nothing.” Sigh.

Now Miss Pop Rocks (who really is old lady Mrs. Pop Rocks, with a mortgage and a job and life insurance and everything), is well aware that she may be falling for Michael Cera The Character as well as Michael Cera himself. See, when Miss PR was an early twentysomething hipster (Michael Cera would have been 9 or 10 at the time), she fell for boys like Mr. Cera on a regular basis. The shy, pale-faced, geeky kind that somehow manipulated you with their brains, their wit, their shy stammer…and they did so so expertly that you didn’t notice or care that they didn’t have muscles or even facial hair (or a bank account, most of the time).

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So I’m pretty damn sure this love for Michael Cera is a resurgence of youthful nostalgia, a rememberance of a time when boys with horn rimmed glasses wearing The Promise Ring t-shirts were enough to make me give it up but good. Now that I’m married (yes, Mr. Pop Rocks dug The Promise Ring), I’ve forgotten what it was like to have that giddy first crush rush.

And Michael Cera has brought that back.

So if Michael ever reads this…this cougar-in-training sends her love. Rowr!

--Jennifer Mathieu

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