This week's entrant in the Crystal Crime Report is Crystal Marie Mosquera. College Station cops say they picked up the 19-year-old Thursday evening outside an area Walmart after she was seen placing numerous items in a reusable shopping bag, defying a security guard's order to stop and attempting to leave the store without paying.
Once in custody, Mosquera reportedly told police that she had gone to Walmart to stock up for a party that night and had made a "mistake" in not paying.
College Station police released a detailed inventory of Mosquera's allegedly misbegotten par-tay supplies, and it makes for interesting reading.
First, there's the alcohol: Mosquera's cart contained a case of Mike's Hard Lemonade, an 18-pack of Bud Light Lime, a 12-pack of Bud Light Lime-A-Rita, and a six-pack each of Twisted Tea, Smirnoff Ice, Smirnoff Ice Cherry Lime, Smirnoff Cranberry & Lime, Smirnoff Screwdriver, and Smirnoff Blueberry & Lemonade. Mosquera also reportedly helped herself to a dozen packages of various daiquiri and hard-lemonade mixes. Total value of booze and mixers: approximately $140.
And then there's the ice cream, lots and lots of ice cream: a box each of Breyer's S'mores and fudge bars, and numerous boxes of Twix, Snickers and Milky Way ice cream bars (some regular and some mini-sized). Total value: approximately $35.
Mosquera apparently planned to serve frozen pizza as the party's main course, for police also found two $10 Marketside meat pies in her cart. Total value: $20.
Which brings us to the one item in her cart that is a little harder to explain than all the rest, the one single, solitary natural product in those bags full of sickly-sweet hooch and chemically enhanced ice cream. And that was this: a single cucumber.
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SHOW ME HOW
Somehow we don't think that cuke was going to end up as thinly sliced pizza topping or infused in a Smirnoff Blueberry Lemonade. Whatever could she have wanted it for? Total value: 62 cents.
Mosquera was charged with Class B misdemeanor theft of under $500. She was released on $2,000 bond late Thursday night. No word on the fate of the party she hoped to attend.