In the unforgettable 1999 documentary American Pimp, filmmakers the Hughes Brothers profiled nine of America's most prominent legends of the pimpin' game: people like Chicago's Don Magic Juan and San Francisco's Fillmore Slim.
The film echoed in the works of Texas filmmaker Mike Judge. In Judge's Idiocracy, Upgrayedd, the character Scarface played, was based in part on Rosebudd, one of the Hughes Brothers' featured pimps. Both men adopted the extra D on their street names because it signified "a double-dose of pimpin'."
And there was also the great early scene in which the US Army colonel can't stop quoting Upgrayedd, (and lifting quotes from American Pimp in the process): "You see gentlemen, a pimp's love is very different from that of a square."
But, very much like that colonel, we digress.
To get back to the point of this blog, the Hughes Brothers also delved pretty deeply into racial issues. They asked one of the pimps, all nine of whom were black, why there were so few white street pimps. (As opposed to white guys like Hugh Hefner and Dennis Hoff [the owner of Nevada's Bunny Ranch] who pimp legally, and somehow are viewed by society as something other than pimps.)
We forget the exact wording, but a veteran pimp from Los Angeles laughed derisively at the very concept and said something like "Most of these races out here don't have the charisma to shake like a pimp shake."
We have some pretty compelling pictorial evidence to shore up that pimp's point. Meet David Wayne (of course) Tabor. The 52-year-old was arrested at Longview's optimistically-named Palace Inn motel as part of a street sweep of prostitutes in that city that also netted the arrests of seven women and a one other man.
Tabor was not picked up as a john. Apparently, one or more of the women was under the spell of this frazzled-and-addled ogre's mackin', 'cause he was charged with promoting prostitution. (Note that his first name lacks that extra D on the end, indicating Tabor possesses merely a single-dose of pimpin'.)
A picture is worth a thousand words, clearly, but we will add this: he sure ain't no Alabaster Jones.
In all seriousness, how far in life to you have to fall to have David Wayne Tabor as your pimp?